Recent reviews by Umbras Dawn

Life 1:
I am running across the train tracks until I find civilization and a house full of items. I get a hard hat and a dude comes up to me and says he wants to ask me a question, I let him saay what he wants, to start getting punched at with his responce of "do you like the taste of punch?". I respond by saying "In the wise words of Socrates, Die B*tch" in which I go on to knock his lights out, tear up his shirt, and take off his pants.
Shortly later he comes back to me when I was in a house scavenging (now armed with a biker helmet) and knocks me out. He then procedes to strip me naked and tells me he is going to force feed me a rotten banana. After finally waking up in a room with nothing I see the text "My mouth has a funny taste to it" in which just after that my kidnapper comes and knocks me out again. I wake up and run as fast as I can with him shouting "Marco?!? Marco?!?" and I find a screwdriver.
I then procede to shank him multiple times until a random chick with an axe pops out of the forest and proceds to hack me to death until I tell her quote "This man is the one you should murder! He locked me in a room, stripped me naked, and shoved his dirty banana down my throat!". She then attacks him and wo both run to the shore bleeding and dying. I give him my final words: "karma is a b*tch, isn`t it"

We both die

Life 2:
I go to scavenge a city when I start hearing gunshots flying towards me. I get in a house, grab a baseball bat and run up the stair well to hide. I then see a man limp and squirm in the house to tell me "There is a crazy man out there shooting at people. He broke my leg and lef..." I hear a gunshot and he stops moving. The man then goes on to shoot me in the leg to left me to get mauled by zombies.

Dead

Life 3:
The day is new and life has just begun again...

Not dead... Yet

Day Z Standalone gets a Banana/10