Recent reviews by kid

The game is fine, but I'd like to file a complaint.

The last time I played this game was on May 18th, 2014.
I launched it again on May 22nd, 2019.
I did not get the "Don't play The Stanley Parable for 5 years" achievement.
I want my money back.

Garfield Kart, blessed to us by Artefacts Studios, isn't just a game. It's a work of art. It's a way of life. The emotions one feels while partaking in a game of Garfield Kart can best be described as otherworldly. Not only the mind, but also the body ascends to a higher plane of existence. The weak-minded perish as the higher beings take first, second, and third place. Those who lack the mental capacity and strength are left behind to rot in purgatory. Those who do, however, are rewarded for their efforts, and are given what we all crave in life - Lasagna. This, although seemingly meaningless, is much more than what we mere mortals can see. During the time in which one is ascended, usually in first place, the lasagna sheds its physical form, and manifests itself into a godlike presence that is irresistible to us humans. This pursuit of meeting what we can only assume to be God is what drives mankind to play Garfield Kart. This isn't just a "casual gaming experience," it's a way of life, and will change the way you live and think forever.

Do you ever just update your review to get the awards badge? I know I do.