Recent reviews by Hezo

I like 2K25, but dinosaurs and their legs make me wanna have fun.
I once hit a birdie so clean my microwave turned off.
The grass in this game? Too green. Suspiciously green. I don’t trust it.
My golfer wears 14 wristbands and screams “FORE” in ancient Latin.
Swing tempo matters, but so does emotional closure.
Every time I land on the fairway, my neighbor’s cat meows in Morse code.
One time I sunk a 40-foot putt and my refrigerator made ice for the first time in 3 years.
Tiger Woods isn’t in my game but I pretend every rival is just him in disguise.
There’s a golf cart in my dreams and it only drives sideways.
And yes, I lost to a man named “Big Bunker Daddy” last night. Spiritually devastating.

10/10. Great golf. Better therapy.

Bought Schedule 1 and suddenly my neighbor Greg won’t stop leaving spaghetti on my doorstep. I haven’t slept in four days, not because of the game, but because there’s a raccoon outside my window playing the harmonica and I’m too emotionally invested to ask him to stop. At one point during my playthrough (of life, not the game), I spilled orange juice on my cat and now he thinks he’s a citrus-based deity. He goes by "Zest Lord."

Anyway, five minutes after launching the game, I remembered I left a potato in the microwave back in 2019. It’s sentient now. We talked. His name is Craig. Craig is a lawyer.

So yeah, Schedule 1 is a game. Probably. I didn’t actually play it. But I felt it. In my knees. And honestly? My knees have never lied to me.

10/10. Would accidentally summon an ancient duck council again.

This game is:

Depression Simulator
Virgin / Pedophile Summon Machine
Jobless Bums Meetup

If you want to achieve all this, play this ♥♥♥♥ game!

If you've ever wanted to experience the thrill of clandestine operations without actually leaving your couch (or risking your neck), Gray Zone Warfare is the game for you. As a self-proclaimed aficionado of all things sneaky, I dove headfirst into this tactical masterpiece, and let me tell you, it's like playing chess with espionage, explosions, and a healthy dose of chaos thrown in for good measure.

First off, let's talk about the graphics. While some games aim for hyper-realistic visuals, Gray Zone Warfare takes a different approach, opting for a stylized aesthetic that's equal parts gritty and gorgeous. Sure, the explosions might not rival Michael Bay's filmography, but there's something undeniably satisfying about watching your enemies go up in a pixelated puff of smoke.

But let's get down to brass tacks: the gameplay. Gray Zone Warfare is all about outsmarting your opponents, whether that means setting elaborate traps, hacking into enemy systems, or just plain old-fashioned misdirection. And let me tell you, nothing beats the feeling of pulling off a flawless ambush, watching as your enemies stumble blindly into your carefully laid trap like a pack of confused lemmings.

Of course, no game is perfect, and Gray Zone Warfare is no exception. Occasionally, the AI can be about as sharp as a bag of wet noodles, leading to some hilariously inept enemy maneuvers. And while the game's dialogue tries its best to be serious and gritty, it often veers into so-bad-it's-good territory, eliciting more laughs than gasps.

Now, let's address the elephant in the room: performance. As of right now, Gray Zone Warfare runs about as smoothly as a rollercoaster made of sandpaper. Seriously, trying to navigate the game's levels can feel like trying to sprint through molasses. Here's hoping the developers release a patch soon, because as it stands, the only thing more frustrating than getting caught by enemy patrols is trying to play the game in the first place.

But hey, who needs Oscar-worthy writing when you've got a game that lets you strap C4 to unsuspecting goats and watch the chaos unfold? Gray Zone Warfare may not be the most polished experience out there, but if you're in the market for a laugh-out-loud good time with a side of tactical espionage action, look no further. Just don't blame me when you find yourself cackling maniacally as you unleash your army of decoy ducks upon your unsuspecting foes.

Palworld: A Whimsical Blend of Fantasy and Survival

Palworld, the latest offering from Pocketpair, invites players into a whimsical world teeming with charm, challenge, and, of course, adorable creatures known as Pals. Seamlessly blending elements of fantasy and survival, Palworld presents a refreshing take on the genre, offering players an engaging experience that is as endearing as it is addictive.

At its core, Palworld revolves around the unique bond between players and their Pals. These lovable companions not only accompany players on their journey but also play a vital role in gathering resources, crafting items, and defending against threats. From the mischievous Fluffies to the majestic Unicorns, each Pal possesses its own distinct abilities and personality, adding depth and variety to gameplay.

One of Palworld's standout features is its robust crafting system, which allows players to create a wide range of items using resources gathered from the environment. Whether it's constructing shelters to weather the elements, fashioning tools to aid in exploration, or concocting traps to fend off hostile creatures, the possibilities are endless. The satisfaction of seeing your humble collection of materials transform into useful tools and structures is immensely gratifying and keeps players engaged for hours on end.

However, Palworld is not merely a game about survival; it also offers plenty of opportunities for creativity and expression. Players can customize their shelters, decorate their surroundings, and even breed Pals to create new and unique combinations. The ability to nurture and care for these virtual companions fosters a sense of attachment and responsibility, further immersing players in the game world.

Visually, Palworld is a delight to behold, with vibrant environments, charming character designs, and smooth animations that bring the world to life. Whether exploring lush forests, vast deserts, or snowy mountains, each location is brimming with personality and detail, begging to be explored.

Of course, no game is without its challenges, and Palworld is no exception. From hostile creatures prowling the wilderness to environmental hazards such as storms and earthquakes, players must remain vigilant to survive. However, with careful planning, strategic thinking, and the help of their trusty Pals, overcoming these obstacles is not only possible but immensely satisfying.

In conclusion, Palworld is a delightful blend of fantasy and survival that offers a captivating experience for players of all ages. With its endearing Pals, engaging gameplay, and charming visuals, it's a game that is sure to capture the hearts of gamers around the world. So gather your Pals, embark on an epic adventure, and discover the magic of Palworld for yourself.

Allahu Rocket League