They say Aleksib is a tactical mastermind — well, I’m the p version, and trust me, my strats are just as clean as his blonde hair. I’m basically the IGL (In-Game Lunatic), so I don’t “rush B” — I tell B when it’s gonna get rushed.

Confidence? Higher than my CS2 frame rate. Flashbangs? They might hit my own team, but at least my hair stays flawless under pressure. Dropping 0 kills and still being the MVP — it’s a skill, really.

Oh, and I’m out here buying decoys like they’re Bitcoin in 2010. Give me a follow or I’ll flashbang your cat.