Many aeons have passed the world by. Many things have changed. But one thing has remained. There is a question which has been asked through the centuries, a great conundrum questioned from one generation to the next. Why, when Julius Caesar was still knee-high to a wood louse, he would sit in his grandfather's toga-clad lap and ask, "Grandpa, what is the Custard-Turtle?"

Great sages and scholars across the world spent hours pondering over this mystery, drawing intricate diagrams, formulating complex equations, conducting grueling field research and/or reading the back of sugar packets, but they reached no answer.

What is the Custard-Turtle? I still encounter this question today. The answer... I am the Custard-Turtle. The explanation... well, what fun would it be if I told you?

~Words by yours truly