Ara ara... you finally showed up.
Took you long enough, newbie — I was starting to think you blue screened on me - pfff...
Name’s Mr Middle Meat. Don’t ask. Just absorb.

Yes — that’s my actual gamertag.
Yes — they let me keep it after the incident.
No — you wouldn’t get it.

Of course, I go by many names...
The Moisture-Bound Herald of Venti
Archdribble of the Seventh Fold
The Reclined Apostle of Chub
The Lurker Beneath the Gaming Blanket

Pick one, sugar. I swing both ways — as long as it’s rank queue.

🧠 Stats you should know:

8000+ hours in Genshin.

S-ranked in Aimlabs tracking — my flicks are studied in Taiwanese eSports forums.

I don’t shower because it throws off my muscle memory.

My doctor says my skin might be “bio-integrating” with my chair.
I told him that’s called dedication.

🎮 My rig glows harder than your future. 4 monitors. 2 humidifiers. 1 shrine.
Yes, my mousepad is an oppai mat.
Yes, I flip it for special occasions.

I drink Monster Ultra White, lukewarm.
Room-temp hits different when your tongue’s evolved past flavor.
Last thing I ate was a cold kebab I found in my hoodie sleeve.
Still better than your KD.

💖 Waifu situation:

Top 3: Raiden Shogun, Esdeath, Makima.

Bottom tier? You, if you don't main support.

Once cried during a fan edit of Zero Two. Felt powerful.

I don’t simp.
I curate affections across multiverses.
Yandere is peak — because if she won’t stab you, does she even care?

📦 I collect high-end figurines. Only dust them when I feel shame.
Hasn’t happened yet.
My room smells like burnt HDMI and regret.
Girls say it’s “concerning.” I say it’s ambient lore.

Add me if:

You main healer and over-apologize

You have a working mic and daddy issues

You’ve stared into the abyss and saw a rerun of Re:Zero

You want to be the tsundere to my emotional stagnation+