Recent reviews by Patch

10/10, would deflect kill goblins with their own cleavers again

As far as old school shooters with retro graphics go, I think this one might be my favorite so far.

The shooting, first off, feels pretty satisfying. The shotgun blasts, the pistol shoots, and the rocket launcher blows things up as they should. It's a weird way to describe it, but it all just feels right. The guns akimbo in particular felt slick as hell to wield.

The atmosphere is top notch, the bleak, washed out world of polygonal Czechoslovakia is super immersive and keeps you interested in where you're going next and what's waiting for you around the corner, while other guys with similarly minimal designs and faded colors would be described as boring.

There's a pretty solid variety of enemies already despite there being only one 'episode' released so far, with human and inhuman foes aplenty. Some of the bosses genuinely caught me off guard with how off-kilter they were and how effectively they ambushed me. I wish there was a little more variety in the way they moved and attacked, as there really only seemed to be one main pattern of attack: Jump at the player a few times, then hold back and shoot a few highly damaging rockets, rinse and repeat. It certainly works, but I would like to see some of the bosses offer other tricks as well.

I just really enjoy this game overall, and I am very excited to see where the developer takes things. I don't usually take the time to leave reviews for games, but this title's brand new and could use all the support it can get, hence why I'm doing my part here.

Keep up the good work, and I look forward to future content!

Something something better than Diablo.

All in all, out of numerous ARPGs that I've played, this one stands at the top for me. The story is alright, but the lore in equipment and journal logs is fairly interesting at times. The central gameplay loop of smashing monsters and grabbing loot is, as it should be, superb. Finding that first purple tier item will be a dopamine surge for you, I guarantee it.

Let's be real though, the real metagame is finding enough items for the Illusionist to make ya boy as fabulous as possible. Fashion Dawn is true Dawn.

T H E
G R E A T
L E A D E R
C O M P E L S
Y O U
T O
D I E

I have to say, in less than 10 hours clocked in this game and many more clocked in the original edition, Sleeping Dogs is definitely a game for you if you are a fan of gritty crime drama, gang drama, kung fu, well put together open worlds, even cool cars.

It's incredibly well-written, the atmosphere of the seedy underbelly of Hong Kong is masterfully constructed and displayed within the game proper.

But enough about Sleeping Dogs as a whole, that's for other reviews to cover. I am here to tell you, or perhaps warn you, about one side mission in particular

Death of a Thousand Cuts.

You can find it as early as Chapter 1, in a very ordinary and out of the way little side alley. But make no mistake. This mission is far from ordinary. Or little.

I cannot tell you the full details of the little slice of hell that is Death of a Thousand Cuts, but I will say that it involves about 30 invincible Chinese supersoldiers, poison, rainstorms, chaos, pain, and one golden cleaver.

Do not trust the golden cleaver.

I am embarassed to say just how many tries it took me to survive this gauntlet. There's probably about a couple thousand South Koreans that could do it in one try while eating kimchi and doing whatever it is South Koreans do at the same time.

But just be prepared if you're the completionist type, because in that case, you'll HAVE to survive it. And believe me;

Death of a Thousand Cuts changes a man.

Other than that, perfectly balanced game, 10/10

My goodness, Walk In The Park.

I can really see where all those months of developing went. Everything from the weapon and armor designs to the enemy encounters, in terms of quality, was on par with the main game, and nothing felt truly out of place, aside from the main boss having much more foreshadowing than all the rest of the game's bosses put together, arguably even the final one.

Other reviewers are complaining about length, but I will tell you that the CREO World level took me somewhere between 3-4 hours in total without too much grinding. You can access the train to Creo World at anytime, but I would recommend taking on CREO World after the Biolabs if you want a good challenge, maybe before the Biolabs if you want a even bigger challenge. It is most definitely not an endgame level and this should be taken into consideration.

All in all, I give it an 8/10, an absolute must-grab for anyone who really liked the base game. Wait for a sale if you have to, but take it from me, the content is worth it.

It's astounding
Time is fleeting
Madness takes its toll
But listen closely
Not for very much longer

I've got to keep control
I remember doing the Time Warp
Drinking those moments when
The blackness would hit me
And the void would be calling

Let's do the Time Warp again
Let's do the Time Warp again

It's just a jump to the left

And then a step to the right

With your hands on your hips

You bring your knees in tight
But it's the pelvic thrust
That really drives you insane
Let's do the Time Warp again
Let's do the Time Warp again

It's so dreamy
Oh, fantasy free me
So you can't see me
No, not at all
In another dimension
With voyeuristic intention
Well secluded, I see all
With a bit of a mind flip

You're into the time slip

And nothing can ever be the same

You're spaced out on sensation

Like you're under sedation

Let's do the Time Warp again
Let's do the Time Warp again

It's just a jump to the left

And then a step to the right

With your hands on your hips

You bring your knees in tight
But it's the pelvic thrust
That really drives you insane
Let's do the Time Warp again
Let's do the Time Warp again

Although I would call this more of a spin-off than a mod, this game has won it's awards for good reason. It puts you in exactly the same events as Half Life, sometimes even in some of the same areas as the original game (You even get a peek at Gordon Freeman himself before he enters the one-way portal to Xen).
I really liked this because it had the same style of combat as Half Life, but all the new weapons (Especially the fish) made it even more fun whenever you entered a major combat zone. I would definitely recommend this to any Half Life fan or even any FPS fan, as a must-purchase. Definitely worth the 5 bucks.

What can I say about this game that hasn't been said already?

Even after years of near total abandonment by the devs, and scores of mediocre updates before that (Except the Pyro Update of course, that was a blast), the core gameplay still holds up, and holds up amazingly.

The guns have their own signature crunch to them that few modern games in the genre know how to properly replicate today. When it comes to first person shooters, one of the most important aspects of it is that when I gun down an enemy, that act by itself should be satisfying to the core, and when I play TF2, every kill is exactly that. Satisfying.

Overwatch may have a number of fun characters, but TF2's zany cast of 9 psychotic mercenaries does much more for me in terms of intensity and charm. It also reflects a greater time when game devs weren't afraid to piss people off. Look at the domination lines alone for each class and you will see what I mean.

I could go on and on about the things I love about this classic of a game, but if you're new, I do recommend that you try and find a community server or 10 and stick with it. That's where the real insanity begins.

Ultimately, 8/10 for me.