I've become so much like Eren Jaeger, it's scary.

I wear black cardigans, verbally assault women, and physically assault my friends. When I look in the mirror, I can't help but say "戦い, 戦い" (which means fight, fight in american.) I grew my hair out long because I don't care so now I have to wear it in a bun and I don't care what people think so shut ♥♥♥♥ up Hange! I always leave an open wound on my hand, and go out of my way to show it to everyone so they are reminded that I am in control. When I see dogs being taken on walks I get mad at them for not being free like I am. I can't have sex with my girlfriend anymore without forcing her to dress up as Mikasa or Historia, both of whom remind me of Armin. When I order fast food, I refuse to call them french fries and insist on calling them freedom fries. I just keep moving forward, until my enemies are destroyed.

I've seen this dude play, he doesn't even use a monitor. He visualizes the map in a detailed rendering, completely in his mind. He has a biological wallhack; his godlike perception highlights all enemies within light-years. His eyes are closed as his mouse gracefully swerves across the table, making immaculate twitches as he flicks from head to head. The bullets that escape his gun barrel are surgical; each making a deadly strike in between his opponent's eyes.

I sexually identify as a Pencil sharpener. Ever since I was a pencil I dreamed of soaring inside other pencil sharpeners dropping hot sticky loads in them. People say to me that a person being a pencil machine is impossible and I'm fuçking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install a second pencil sharpener on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Mr.PencilDick" and respect my right to fuçk pencils and fuçk needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a Pencilphobe and need to check your sexual privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
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