Three hats for the Heavy-kings under the sky,

Seven for the Scout-lords in their halls of stone,

Nine for Mortal Medics doomed to die,

One for Gaben on his dark throne

In the Land of Steamstore where the cake's a lie.

One hat to rule them all, one hat to find them,

One hat to bring them all and in the server bind them

In the Land of Steamstore where the cake's a lie.