╭━━━━━━━╮
┃　　● ══　 █ ┃
┃██████████┃
┃██████████┃
┃██████████┃
┃█ ur adopted. █┃
┃█ -Mom&Dad █┃
┃██████████┃
┃██████████┃
┃██████████┃
┃　　　○　　　 ┃
╰━━━━━━━╯

"Hi, I'm Chris Hansen. Have a seat over there."

"Uh, okay."

"What's in the bag?"

"Uh, stuff."

"Wow, there's some heinous ♥♥♥♥ in here. No literally, it's a bag of feces. What exactly were you planning on doing with a bag of ♥♥♥♥ and this 13 year old you met online?"

"Uh, I'm currently writing an essay on obscenity laws. So, uh, obviously I'm doing research on child pornography."

"Hmm. I have a paper handout here of some of your online activity. You said, 'I want to chow down on some mud pies while I poop in your butt. Then you poop back into my butt while I feed you some of daddy's chocolate ice cream.' You don't remember saying that?"

(begins sobbing)

"Yeah buddy, you're going to the slammer. Maybe your next essay can be on prison rape."

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