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Tell me why the stars do shine,
Tell me why the ivy twines,
Tell me why the sky's so blue,
And I will tell you just why I love you.

Nuclear fusion makes stars to shine,
Phototropism makes ivy twine,
Rayleigh scattering makes sky so blue,
Sexual hormones are why I love you.

Take heart amid the deepening gloom that your dog is finally getting
enough cheese.
-- National Lampoon, "Deteriorata"

Old Mother Hubbard lived in a shoe,
She had so m

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