"Don't you hate it when you fall in love with a girl then on the third date took her to your house and let her use the bathroom and wondered why she was taking so long and looked in and realized she was a bear eatin faeces from your toilet so you called the police but they wouldn't believe you so you had to beat it to death with a length of pipe you pulled off the boiler but then the leaky pipe flooded your house and you got trench foot and had to have it amputated"