Waltuh.......put your ♥♥♥♥ away waltuh.........I'm not having sex with you right now, Waltuh.

How about next time you get a board that can handle the Neutron Style™?

My friends deserve a better friend.


My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Some times he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical, summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds, pretty standard really. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it's breathtaking, I suggest you try it.

"Life, uh...........finds a way." - Ian Malcolm

"Once your pizza's delivered, have some ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ pizza."

"I'm about my dough, and I knead it in my hand."

"Now you see, Goddard, boys are one way, and girls are entirely another way! And then, there's ducks." - Hugh Neutron