Mlorp

You're hanging out with the wrong people and it's causing you to change

Flying cars won't happen until April 8th 2145 when drunk drivers officially go extinct as alcoholic beverages vastly degrade in quality due to some new laws that had come about that indirectly destroyed the booze industry.

My girlfriend is in the hospital because of a heroin OD, and so I was gonna sell my laptop (worth <$1000) to help with the bills and the inpatient costs. So I found a buyer and when he came to make the transaction he assaulted me and stole the laptop. For various reasons the police cant get involved.
I need to kill him. What's the best course of action to do it?

Hey Aiden, just a friendly reminder from your good friend Gabe; Remember to always scrap the coating off a concerta.

am I pretty?
Boy: no
Girl: do you even want to be with me forever?
Boy: no
Girl: do you even like me?
Boy: no
Girl: would you cry if I walked away
Boy: no
She'd heard enough and was hurt... She walked away with tears in her eyes
The boy grabbed her arm
Boy: you're not pretty...... You're beautiful
Boy: i don't want to be with you forever..... I need to be with you forever
Boy: i don't like you...... I love you
Boy: i wouldn't cry if you walked away...... I die if you walked away
Boy whispered: please stay with me
Girl: i will
*tonight at midnight your true love will realize he/she loves you
*something good will happen to you at 1-4pm
*tomorrow it could happen anywhere!
*get ready for the shock of your life!
*if you don't repost this to 5other comments...... You will have badluck in relationships for the next 10years