Please put an NSFW tag on this profile. I was on the train and when I saw this profile and I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the ♥♥♥♥” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this profile. Now there is a whole train of men masturbating together at this one profile. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this profile NSFW.

me not that kind of orc!

I currently have a Buzz Lightyear action figure stuck in my ass.

I am male if it matters. I've always been into putting things in my ass I don't know why, I'm not gay or anything I just like how it feels. Well I got drunk last night and decided to play with my ass and I hadn't gone shopping so I was out of carrots and cucumbers so I looked around and I saw my Buzz Lightyear action figure and thought "why not?" I've put action figures up there before because they feel different and it's funny. I grabbed Buzz, lubed him up and put him up against my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ and started sliding him in. "To infinity and beyond!" I moaned as Buzz entered me.

The only problem is that he has those wings that expand and so they popped open nearly splitting me in half and now he's stuck in there and I can't get him out. I know I need to go to the emergency room but honestly I'm scared and ashamed.

the townsfolk need their mayor

Please come back the children are starting to worry.

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