I Dare you to call the family Tartan a Skirt!
It's called a kilt, because we done kilt anyone that called it a skirt. ;-)

The Celts were such terrible barbarians that even the Romans FAILED to conquer us after 3 attempted invasions of what's modern day Scotland. The Romans were even so afraid of us, that they had to build a huge wall of stone, (Hadrian's Wall) across Britain to keep us out of it, and in Scotland.

Then they heard that Ireland was ruled by the Celts and they never went there, they stayed away.

HAH-AH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!