T1K1 GR33N's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 15 Jan @ 9:33am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 16 Jan @ 10:43am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 16 Jan @ 10:23am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 15 Jan @ 1:12pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 15 Jan @ 10:13am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 16 Jan @ 9:26am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 17 Jan @ 10:07am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 19 Jan @ 5:20am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 20 Jan @ 3:08pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 26 Jan @ 11:32am

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 20 Jan @ 2:57pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 17 Jan @ 8:47am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 16 Jan @ 10:50am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 20 Jan @ 10:11am

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 15 Jan @ 12:51pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 15 Jan @ 9:59am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 19 Jan @ 4:58am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 22 Jan @ 7:27am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 20 Jan @ 2:28pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 15 Jan @ 10:01am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 16 Jan @ 10:23am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 18 Jan @ 1:00pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 20 Jan @ 2:14pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 15 Jan @ 9:40am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 15 Jan @ 1:00pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 15 Jan @ 9:58am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 19 Jan @ 5:06am

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 26 Jan @ 11:34am

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 15 Jan @ 10:11am

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 17 Jan @ 10:35am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 17 Jan @ 10:10am

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 16 Jan @ 9:07am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

2 / 30

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

25 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

2 / 30

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

0 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

2 / 3

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

9 / 30

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

4 / 30

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

16 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 20

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

0 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30