Chuck Norris eats nothing, excretes food, and never needs help. If Chuck actually needed help, he wouldn’t ask you for it, he’d extract it from your larynx with a roundhouse kick to your throat before you knew what had happened. Chuck blesses God, and not the other way around. Chuck allows you to maintain this website, too, as if you didn’t know. Chuck always speaks in the third self-referential person. Chuck wanted you to know. Chuck.