Cursed be my life! Eternally damned am I to roam the seven cruel seas, the four merciless oceans, a few unscrupulous inlets, and a couple of estuaries that aren't openly hostile per se, but you know are just complete jerks,...where was I? Oh, right,... ever in pursuit of Great Booty!

Don't get me wrong, it's not all bad. I do have my hobbies. I do a little carving. Some Booty themed scrimshaw. I sell them on Ebay. I'm considering starting an Etsy account,...but my point is, like 85%-90% of my life is hell.

Cursed I say....