Me myself was born 1344 years before Jesus Christ.
I was created in a rusty basement by a humongous leprosy riddled man with big fat pimples all over his ass.
I got quite a good look at them when I cleaned his moldy squishy bum. I counted it to be 5 big pus filled cancer lumps with the circunference of six centimeters.
I contemplated suicide, google was my escape from reality. I found great wiki links filled with information on how to kill myself, but none of the methods meet my requirements of the attention I wanted to gain after my death. And so the big fat blob man walked into the room, it was at this moment I knew, I was doomed to live here for an eternity. I envied death.
Luckily the fat man died of inhaling his own mold particles and I was free to roam earth and so I ascenced into Godhood, facing one of life's greatest challenges, being captured by the founding fathers of the people we now call ''neckbeards''.

That is Life