Recently i was involved in a top-secret project. I'm not really allowed to talk about it, but it was big. Thats all i can tell you about Operation C.I.Aids. I went to some CIA seminars to begin with but i cant remember much about them. All I know is anytime i hear any of John Lennon's solo stuff I go out and buy a harpoon. I still have the flask of Michael Jackson's DNA I stole for Operation Timberlake. His DNA wasnt hard to get. I dressed up as a schoolboy and hid the flask in my ass, I was also part of a plot to kill Castro, but it was impossible to get near him. I did manage to become his masseur, but even that he makes you do through a catflap with a snooker rest.
Being a special operative was a great job. How many people can say they got to meet all 3 Paul McCartney's? A lot of people wanted to strangle him after the Frog Chorus, but I was the one who actually got to do it. The CIA recruited me in an operation where they got prostitutes to spike people with acid and find out their secrets. They really had me over a barrel once they knew how much i liked to ♥♥♥♥ prostitutes on acid.

I did not rape Tina Turner.


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