Recent reviews by Ash

It's a Bethesda game. Space Fallout. What's not to like?

Easiest game I've ever played. Just avoid the enemies and summon others to fight the bosses.

Like crack, only more addictive. Well, if crack was below £3 and you only bought one hit which lasted forever. So not really like crack. But it is very addictive. Like crack. Go figure.

Sooo, what's this one all about?

Clue is in the name.

You're a piece of ash?

Correct.

Really?

No, not really.

What's the low down then?

The 'low down', the high up and the middle ground is that it's in the Souls-like ball park.

Souls like?

Like Dark Souls.

Right.

Basically, it's harder than your ordinary shooter.

It's a shooter!?

Yep.

What am I shooting?

Roots.

Roots! A nickname for a tribe of blood thirsty natives, eager to introduce you to your maker?

Not really. They're roots, like, from a plant.

Is it a game for Vegans?

Unclear. It's good though.

What's good about it?

It has online co-op PvE. You can have up to 2 other party members and you all share the loot. Whatever I pick up, you get and vice versa. The weapons are interesting and the powers are too. You get to use 2 at a time, alongside your rifle, pistol and meleé weapon. You also get passive powers from beating or simply playing the game, that you increase through collecting experience points.

Hmm. What if I'm feeling anti-social.

Again?

Yes.

Then you sit in the corner as usual. Or you can play on your own.

How's that?

Good, yeah. Thing is, you can drop into the middle of the game if you join another player when they're at that point. Then you get to play the boss there and collect the loot. It's a good way of getting the loot that you really want. There are other modes too.

Modes?

Like Survival. It's basically horde mode. You get a certain amount of currency which you use to buy weapons and armour then you're dropped into a level and you try to beat your best time before you're killed.

I see. What else.

Not a fan of Survival then?

No.

There's Adventure mode?

Go on.

That's the same as the main mode except you get to choose where you start from.

Ok. I'm sold.

Cool! See you online!

I'm getting it for free from PS Plus, so probably not.

Wear a hat with a knob on the top! You can literally be a knobhead in this game and trust me, you will have plenty of competition.

Yes, it's the game everyone loves to hate. Destiny. 2: There'll Never Be A Third (get over it, nooberry).

So what's it about, bmd?

I hear you, Guardian.

Guardian?

That's you.

What am I guarding?
Depends.

On?

The Season?

The season.

Season.

That's what I said.

No, you said season.

Right... sooo...?

Well, in this universe the bad guys take it in turns to knack planets. They usually start on one and then hop onto a few others. Don't worry, they will be planets you've visited once or twice before and by once or twice I mean millions of times. You'll pony up for the chance to kill the Planet Knacker and his dudes and, get this, you always find an Exotic weapon during the course of the Season!

Exotic weapons?! Sounds cool!

Yeah, not so much. I mean, there were some awesome ones pre 2 but then Bungie ran out of ideas and now they kind of feel like Bungie have been rooting around in Ratchet and Clank's bins and loving what they find.

Bungie?

The devs.

Right.

Halo?

Jolly good.

They're known for doing very good shooty games.

Are they?

Yes.

Can I push you for a bit more information?

You can.

And?

Destiny 2 is a shooter in an enormous universe that will shrink and shrink and shrink the more you play it. Best played with friends, it has some amazing content and some dull content. It's up there at the top of the charts for a reason. Give it a try. With a friend or 2.

Does it have PvP

No.

It says here that it does.

Ok.

Don't you PvP, bro?

I will bro you so hard that you will be a sister if you ever bro me again.

Not a fan of PvP then?

I'm terrible at it but the PvP is bloody awesome tbf.

What else is there to do then?

PvE! That's great too.

PvE?

Player versus everything else.

That's.... not...

Yes it is.

No it isn't.

Etc.