she/her



You know something, maniacs, first things first: I want the Doctor Proper to know, the Doctor Unger to know, Doctor Hughes to know, that the release forms have been signed. You're not responsible for the last couple of fractures in the forearm, brother. The main priority in the Yapapi Indian strap match is to have flexibility of the wrist that you strap to your opponent with, brother, because in the Yapapi Indian strap match, when you're in the four corners of the battlezone, the main priority is—is to get the body in the proper position for the strapation, dudes.

When I get Ric Flair right where I want him, when I get him out of wind, sucking air, sweating from head to toe, I will call out to Indian strapmaster Jimmy Hart on ringside, and I will say to Jimmy Hart at ringside, 'Gimme Yapapi Indian punishment strap number one.' And as I strap your body, Ric Flair, as you scream to the heavens for mercy, as I see your skin start to bubble off your body, you will drop to your knees and you will say, 'Please, Mr. Hogan, please, I can't take it anymore. Please, I'm sorry I crossed the line.'

And as I hear you beg for mercy, Ric Flair, that's when I will call to the strapmaster Jimmy Hart at ringside for Yapapi Indian Punishment strapage number two. That's when the heavier bats will come out. That's when I will strap your skin and the flesh will bubble. That's when the flesh will start to peel from your hide. And as I see the raw pink meat on your back brother, I will take it to another level. I will transform from Hulk to Hollywood. I will double strap you with both fists, and you will scream to the heavens, 'Please, Hollywood, don't hurt me anymore.' And I will never stop!