The notes blatted skyward as they rose over the Canada geese, feathered
rumps mooning the day, webbed appendages frantically pedaling unseen
bicycles in their search for sustenance, driven by cruel Nature's maxim,
'Ya wanna eat, ya gotta work,' and at last I knew Pittsburgh.
-- Winning sentence, 1987 Bulwer-Lytton bad fiction contest.
😷
What sin has not been committed in the name of efficiency?
🤥
All the existing 2.0.x kernels are to buggy for 2.1.x to be the
main goal.
-- Alan Cox
😶
Mos Eisley Spaceport; you will never find a more wretched hive of scum
and villainy...
-- Obi-wan Kenobi, "Star Wars"
🙁
A day without orange juice is like a day without orange juice.
😍
All that glitters is not gold; all that wander are not lost.
🙄
"Being against torture ought to be sort of a multipartisan thing."
-- Karl Lehenbauer, as amended by Jeff Daiell, a Libertarian
🤔
Every absurdity has a champion who will defend it.
🤗
After a number of decimal places, nobody gives a damn.
😶
We are all born charming, fresh and spontaneous and must be civilized
before we are fit to participate in society.
-- Judith Martin, "Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly
Correct Behaviour"
😫


🤐
Dear Mister Language Person: What is the purpose of the apostrophe?

Answer: The apostrophe is used mainly in hand-lettered small business signs
to alert the reader than an "S" is coming up at the end of a word, as in:
WE DO NOT EXCEPT PERSONAL CHECK'S, or: NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY ITEM'S.
Another important grammar concept to bear in mind when creating hand- lettered
small-business signs is that you should put quotation marks around random
words for decoration, as in "TRY" OUR HOT DOG'S, or even TRY "OUR" HOT DOG'S.
-- Dave Barry, "Tips for Writer's"
😙
Festivity Level 1: Your guests are chatting amiably with each
other, admiring your Christmas-tree ornaments, singing carols around
the upright piano, sipping at their drinks and nibbling hors d'oeuvres.

Festivity Level 2: Your guests are talking loudly -- sometimes
to each other, and sometimes to nobody at all, rearranging your
Christmas-tree ornaments, singing "I Gotta Be Me" around the upright
piano, gulping their drinks and wolfing down hors d'oeuvres.

Festivity Level 3: Your guests are arguing violently with
inanimate objects, singing "I can't get no satisfaction," gulping down
other peoples' drinks, wolfing down Christmas tree ornaments and
placing hors d'oeuvres in the upright piano to see what happens when
the little hammers strike.

Festivity Level 4: Your guests, hors d'oeuvres smeared all over
their naked bodies are performing a ritual dance around the burning
Christmas tree. The piano is missing.

You want to keep your party somewhere around level 3, unless
you rent your home and own Firearms, in which case you can go to level
4. The best way to get to level 3 is egg-nog.
🤑
"'Chapter Fifteen, Elementary Necromancy'", she read out loud. "'Lesson
One: Correct Use of Shovel...'"
(Jingo)
😯
'Tis more blessed to give than receive; for example, wedding presents.
-- H.L. Mencken
😴
Every man who is high up likes to think that he has done it all himself,
and the wife smiles and lets it go at that.
-- Barrie
🙄





















😗
Mr. Rockford? This is Betty Joe Withers. I got four shirts of yours from
the Bo Peep Cleaners by mistake. I don't know why they gave me men's
shirts but they're going back.
-- "The Rockford Files"
😷
(I tried to get some documentation out of Digital on this, but as far as
I can tell even _they_ don't have it ;-)
-- Linus Torvalds, in an article on a dnserver
🤕
Mal: "Okay, help me find our man; he's supposed to be older. Kind of stocky,
wears a red sash crossways."

Kaylee: "Why does he do that?"

Mal: "Maybe he won the Miss Persephone pageant. Just help me look."
🤠
In India, "cold weather" is merely a conventional phrase and has come into
use through the necessity of having some way to distinguish between weather
which will melt a brass door-knob and weather which will only make it mushy.
-- Mark Twain
😪



🤣
Humorists always sit at the children's table.
-- Woody Allen
😘
"The Schizophrenic: An Unauthorized Autobiography"
🤓


😲
L'hazard ne favorise que l'esprit prepare.
-- L. Pasteur
🙂
When you're in command, command.
-- Admiral Nimitz
😬
Unix: Some say the learning curve is steep, but you only have to climb it once.
-- Karl Lehenbauer
😩
Croll's Query:
If tin whistles are made of tin, what are foghorns made of?
🤧
Chuck Norris can win at solitaire with only 18 cards.
😱
<RoboHak> hmm, lunch does sound like a good idea
<Knghtbrd> would taste like a good idea too
🤔
/* Halley */

(Halley's comment.)
😍
<|Rain|> Knghtbrd: let me give you access to the zone files
<Knghtbrd> oh gods - you do realize I have never played with bind right?
<|Rain|> uhoh :)
😵