Recent reviews by HAVI

Ninja Gaiden 3: A Disastrous Descent into Mediocrity

Ninja Gaiden 3—a title that once held promise, now stands as a testament to missed opportunities and shattered expectations. Let me dissect this abomination for you:

Abandonment of Core Identity: The franchise’s hallmark was its intricate combat system, demanding skill and precision. But Ninja Gaiden 3 tosses that legacy aside like yesterday’s trash. The result? Shallow combat that feels about as satisfying as a wet noodle.
Narrative Nonsense: The game flirts with a dark, contemplative story. Ryu Hayabusa, our protagonist, grapples with his monstrous ethics. Yet, the execution is laughable. Ryu’s kill count soars, including unarmed men who plead for their lives. The narrative contradictions left me bewildered—betrayals, forgotten motives, and a plot that’s more tangled than a ninja’s shuriken belt.
Arm Drama: Ryu’s infected arm is the most pointless plot device since Jar Jar Binks. It slows him down sporadically, but serves no purpose beyond annoyance. The AI, blissfully ignorant, doesn’t exploit this weakness. And let’s not forget the cinematic interruptions—walking from one scripted scene to another, like a ninja stuck in traffic.
Visual Blunders: The graphics? A Picasso painting gone wrong. The blood-soaked environments lack finesse, and the character models resemble melted wax figures. It’s as if the developers dipped their brushes in mediocrity and splashed it across the screen.
Soundtrack? What Soundtrack?: The forgettable tunes in Ninja Gaiden 3 make elevator music seem riveting. I’d rather listen to a dial-up modem connecting than endure this audio abyss.
Backwards-Innovation: The game’s inventory system? Nonexistent. Japanese voice option? Nope. Combat? Streamlined to the point of boredom. It’s like the developers took a katana to the heart of what made the series great.
In summary, Ninja Gaiden 3 is a gash on the franchise’s face—a slap in the face to fans and newcomers alike. Save your sanity and play something else. Perhaps watching grass grow would be more exhilarating. 🌱

Certainly! Buckle up, fellow earthlings, because we’re about to dive into the zany world of “Destroy All Humans! 2”. Grab your ray guns, polish your flying saucers, and prepare for a review that’s more twisted than a pretzel at an alien picnic.

“Destroy All Humans! 2”: An Extraterrestrial Rave
Introduction:
Picture this: It’s the swinging '60s, bell-bottoms are in, and the Cold War is hotter than a jalapeño on a summer day. And right in the middle of all this chaos? Our favorite little green menace, Crypto, back for another round of cosmic mischief.

Plot Summary:
Crypto’s got a new gig: infiltrate Earth’s grooviest cities, impersonate humans, and generally wreak havoc. But wait, there’s a twist! This time, he’s not just vaporizing cows; he’s also moonwalking at discotheques and attending alien support groups. Yes, you heard that right—alien support groups. Because even extraterrestrials need a shoulder to cry on when their ray guns malfunction.

Gameplay:
Crypto’s abilities have evolved faster than a TikTok trend. He’s got telekinesis, a jetpack, and a weapon arsenal that would make Tony Stark jealous. Want to disintegrate a nosy neighbor? Zap! Need to abduct a politician? Beam 'em up! And let’s not forget the anal probe—because nothing says “intergalactic diplomacy” like a probing session.

Side Quests:
“Destroy All Humans! 2” doesn’t just stop at world domination. Oh no, it throws in side quests that are wilder than a psychedelic trip. From helping Elvis record his greatest hits (yes, the King is an alien groupie) to teaching Bigfoot how to twerk (don’t ask), Crypto’s to-do list is more eclectic than a thrift store vinyl collection.

City Hopping:
The game takes us to iconic locations like Las Vegas, where Crypto can gamble, cheat at poker, and win big (because who needs a casino when you have alien mind control?). Then there’s Tokyo, where he karaoke-battles Godzilla and accidentally becomes a J-pop sensation. Move over, Beyoncé; Crypto’s in town!

Humor:
The humor in “Destroy All Humans! 2” is so sharp, it could slice a watermelon. The dialogue is snappier than a rubber band, and the satire? Oh boy. Whether it’s mocking conspiracy theorists or turning Area 51 into a tourist attraction, the game’s wit is as dry as a Martian desert.

Soundtrack:
Imagine Jimi Hendrix jamming with E.T. Yep, that’s the vibe. The soundtrack features '60s hits, alien remixes, and the occasional cow mooing in auto-tune. It’s like Woodstock meets Roswell, and it’s groovy, man.

Conclusion:
“Destroy All Humans! 2” isn’t just a game; it’s a cosmic acid trip. It’s the kind of experience that makes you question reality, wonder if your neighbor is secretly a lizard person, and laugh until your ray gun overheats. So grab your tinfoil hat, hop in your saucer, and remember: When life gives you humans, make crop circles!

The Outer Worlds: Spacer's Choice Edition is a must-have for any fan of science fiction and role-playing games. Developed by Obsidian Entertainment and published by Private Division, this game is set in an alternate future in which mega-corporations have taken over much of the universe.

The game follows a character called the Stranger, who is taken to a corporate-run colony called Halcyon. Here, the player is presented with a choice: to help the locals survive or to help the corporations. This moral decision forms the basis of the game, and the player's decisions will have a direct impact on the story.

Graphically, The Outer Worlds: Spacer's Choice Edition looks great. The game world is detailed and immersive, with a great soundtrack and sound effects helping to bring the game to life. The character models are also well done, and the game runs smoothly even when there are a lot of things happening on screen.

Gameplay wise, The Outer Worlds: Spacer's Choice Edition is a great experience. Combat is fast and fun, with plenty of weapons and abilities to choose from. Exploration is also rewarding, with many secrets and side quests to discover. The game also features a dialogue system that allows you to pick the tone of conversation with the characters you meet.

The Outer Worlds: Spacer's Choice Edition is a great game that is sure to please fans of science fiction and role-playing games. With its engaging storytelling, fun gameplay, and great visuals, it is a must-have for anyone that loves to explore alien worlds and make moral decisions. The game will keep you coming back for more, and is sure to provide hours of entertainment.

Apex Legends is an incredibly popular battle royale game that has taken the gaming world by storm. It’s a fast-paced, adrenaline-filled shooter that is easy to pick up and play. The game features a unique mix of characters with different abilities, allowing players to create their own tactical strategies. The game is also incredibly well balanced, with no one character or strategy dominating the game. The graphics are stunning and the sound design is top notch, making the game an immersive experience.

The team at Respawn Entertainment have done a fantastic job at creating a vibrant world with a strong story. The game is set in the Titanfall universe and features a variety of different maps and game modes. The team has also done an amazing job at introducing new content regularly, ensuring that the game is always fresh and exciting. The variety of different characters and their unique abilities makes Apex Legends an incredibly tactical and rewarding experience.

The game is also incredibly well balanced, with no one character or strategy dominating the game. This makes it a great game to play with friends as everyone can contribute and have a great time. The game also has a great social aspect, allowing players to team up and communicate with each other in order to complete objectives.

Overall, Apex Legends is an incredibly fun and rewarding game. It’s easy to pick up and play and offers a unique mix of characters and tactical strategies. The graphics, sound design, and story are all top notch and the team at Respawn Entertainment have done a great job at keeping the game fresh with regular content updates. If you’re looking for a fun and exciting battle royale experience, then Apex Legends is the game for you.

Yakuza 5 Remastered is the latest in the long running series from Sega and it is a must-have for any fan of the franchise. The game has been fully remastered and includes all the original content from the original game as well as updated graphics and sound.

The game follows the story of five protagonists, each of whom follows a different story. There are more than 50 hours of content in the game, making it one of the biggest games in the series. The story, characters, and gameplay are all top-notch and this game is one of the best in the series.

The combat system is one of the best in the series and it has been improved further with the remaster. The controls are tight and responsive and the action is fast-paced. The game also features an improved camera system, which makes it easier to keep track of the action and see what is happening on the battlefield.

The visuals in the game are also top-notch. The game runs at 4K resolution and the character models, environments, and textures are all sharp and detailed. The game also features a new lighting system which adds to the atmosphere and makes the game look even better.

The soundtrack is also excellent. It features a mix of classic tracks from the series, as well as new ones. The music helps draw the player into the game and adds to the atmosphere.

Overall, Yakuza 5 Remastered is an excellent game and a must-have for fans of the series. The game is filled with content, great visuals, and an excellent soundtrack. It is a great way to experience the series and is a must-have for any fan of the franchise.

Judgment is an action-adventure video game developed and published by Sega for the PlayStation 4. This game is the latest instalment in the Yakuza series and is set in the fictional Japanese district of Kamurocho. The game follows the story of Takayuki Yagami, a lawyer who is investigating a mysterious string of murders which have struck the city.

Judgment is a fantastic game that offers a thrilling and immersive experience. The game features a detailed and vibrant world, with an incredible level of detail and detail in the environment. The graphics are stunning, with highly detailed textures and lighting effects that make the world come alive. The character models are also very detailed and lifelike, with a great sense of realism.

The gameplay in Judgment is intense and engaging, with a variety of missions and objectives to complete. The combat system is fluid and intuitive, with a wide range of weapons and gadgets to use in combat. The game also features a variety of mini-games to keep you entertained.

The story in Judgment is compelling and engaging, with a great sense of mystery and intrigue. The story is told in an interesting and immersive way, with a great voice cast that brings the characters to life. The music is also excellent, with a great selection of tracks that bring the game to life.

Judgment is an excellent game that offers a unique and captivating experience. The graphics and audio are top-notch, and the gameplay is intense and engaging. The story is thrilling and immersive, with a great cast of characters that bring the game to life. If you're looking for a thrilling and immersive experience, Judgment is definitely worth checking out.

Yakuza 3 Remastered is the latest installment in the long-running and beloved Yakuza franchise. This game was released in Japan in 2009 and has been remastered and released worldwide in 2020. At its core, Yakuza 3 Remastered is a 3D action-adventure game set in the fictional city of Kamurocho.

The game follows the adventures of Kazuma Kiryu, a retired Yakuza boss, as he tries to solve the various mysteries, fights, and puzzles that beset him. As expected, the gameplay remains largely unchanged from its original Japanese release. Players control Kazuma Kiryu as he moves around the city, interacts with NPCs, and engages in combat with various enemies.

The biggest and most notable change to Yakuza 3 Remastered is the improved visuals. The game has been given a complete graphical overhaul, with higher resolution textures, improved lighting, and enhanced character models. This makes the game look and feel much more modern and polished.

The story of Yakuza 3 Remastered is still as strong as ever. The game follows Kazuma Kiryu as he tries to unravel the mysteries that have been plaguing him since his retirement. Along the way, he will meet a variety of characters, from Yakuza bosses to everyday citizens, and he will have to make tough choices about how to handle each situation.

Yakuza 3 Remastered is a great game for fans of the franchise, as well as newcomers who have never played a Yakuza game before. The story is still engaging and the improved visuals make the game look great. The combat is still satisfying and there are plenty of side activities to keep players occupied. Yakuza 3 Remastered is an excellent entry into the franchise and is sure to be a hit with fans of the series.

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim Special Edition is one of the best games released in recent years. The game is a remaster of the original The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, released in 2011. The Special Edition features improved visuals, new content, and various other enhancements.

The game's visuals are stunning, with detailed environments and character models. The game is also highly moddable, allowing players to customize the game to their liking. The Special Edition also includes all the expansions and downloadable content from the original game, so there is plenty of content to explore.

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim Special Edition also features an incredible amount of content. There are hundreds of quests to complete, and multiple factions to join. The game also features a robust crafting system, allowing players to create custom items.

The game also has a deep and immersive story, and the player is free to explore the world at their own pace. The world of Skyrim is incredibly detailed and believable, and the game features many different creatures and NPCs.

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim Special Edition is a great game for fans of the Elder Scrolls series, as well as those who are new to the series. The game is an incredibly immersive experience, and the improved visuals and content make it an even better experience. The game is a must-play for any fan of RPG games, and it is sure to provide hundreds of hours of entertainment.

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim Special Edition is an incredible game that is sure to provide many hours of enjoyment. The game has improved visuals, new content, and an incredibly immersive world. The game is highly moddable, allowing players to customize the game to their own liking. The game also features a deep and engaging story, and allows players to explore the world at their own pace. This is a must-play for any fan of RPG games, and I highly recommend it.

Killing Floor 2 is an adrenaline-filled cooperative first-person shooter that is sure to keep you on the edge of your seat. Developed by Tripwire Interactive and published by Deep Silver, Killing Floor 2 is a sequel to the popular Killing Floor that was released in 2009. The game takes place in continental Europe, after it has been overrun by hordes of monsters known as “zeds”.

Players take on the role of a member of the military, a mercenary, or a civilian survivor who must battle against these zeds and complete various objectives. As you progress through the game, you’ll be able to upgrade your weapons and equipment, and battle increasingly difficult waves of enemies.

Killing Floor 2 is an incredibly fun and immersive experience. The graphics are stunning, and the game runs smoothly on most PCs. The game also features an array of weapons and gear, and the options for customizing your character are impressive. The controls are very intuitive and easy to pick up, and the game offers a slew of different game modes to choose from.

The cooperative aspect of Killing Floor 2 is also great. Players can cooperate with up to five other players, and work together to complete objectives and defeat waves of enemies. This makes for an incredibly intense and exciting experience.

Overall, Killing Floor 2 is an excellent shooter that provides an intense and thrilling cooperative experience. Its stunning visuals and smooth controls make for an enjoyable experience, and the various weapons and game modes make for a great deal of replayability. If you’re looking for an intense cooperative shooter, then Killing Floor 2 is definitely worth checking out.

STAR WARS™ Knights of the Old Republic™ is an exceptional video game that has captured the hearts of millions of fans around the world. With its immersive storyline, captivating characters, and stunning graphics, it is no wonder that this game has become a beloved classic. The game transports players to a galaxy far, far away, where they can choose to align themselves with the light side or the dark side of the Force. The gameplay is engaging and dynamic, offering a rich and diverse gaming experience.