Your future husband, Oh most esteemed, Spudblessed Sovereign, The Unboiled and Ever-Pickled, His Rootliness Sir Tubbin of the Thrice-Roasted Rutabaga, Parsnip Pope of the Mud-Choked Marches, Squelcher of the Faithless, Burrower of the Deep Loam, King of Kingsfoil, Lord of the Fertile Filth, Tiller of the Holy Muck, Custodian of the 1,000 Trowels, Overseer of the Great Heaping, Grand Admiral of the Soggy Trenches, Champion of the Turnip Trials, Blessed of the Blight, Dandified Duke of Dung, Keeper of the Compost Chalice, Herald of the Verdant Whiff, Soil-Sucker of the Suncursed Wastes, Mud-Smeared High Pontiff of the Red Ribbon Roundtable, Sovereign of Sprouting Sorrows, Rider of the Sacred Wheelbarrow, Sniffer of the Sulphurous Sunchoke, Fertilizer of the Fallen, Mascot of the Mulched, Cultivator of Divine Cankers, Supreme Commander of the Mulch-Marinated Militia, Vicar of the Vinegar-Stung Eye, Wielder of the Sacred Secateurs, Grandmaster of the Gourdish Gambit, Harrower of the Hollow Hills, The Uneaten, The Unwashed, He Who Speaks to Sprouts, The Root-Kissed, First of the Furrowed, Last of the Leeklords, Eternal Custard-Watcher of the Worm-Ridden Table, and He Who Knows the Yield Forecast Before It Is Known.