and so i was like, "no way these are my chicken nuggys" and he was like "bro that is not my problem" and so then i sceamed like a demon and ate all of the nuggys. and he was like "hey!" i was all "nphmmphnnmhgm" cuz my mouth was full. and then he kicked my pet lizard in the balls and sent him flying. so yelled "NPHMMMNMMPHMGNM!" and i stabbed him with a pen, and broke both my hands on his face.

I go, "No mom, I'm not on drugs, I'm okay
I'm just thinking, you know?
Why don't you get me a pepsi?"
She goes, "NO! You're on drugs!"
I go, "Mom, I'm okay, I'm just thinking"
And she goes, "NO! You're not thinking you're on drugs!
Normal people don't act that way!"
I go, "Mom, just get me a Pepsi, please? All I want is a Pepsi"
And she wouldn't give it to me
All I wanted was a Pepsi!
Just one Pepsi!
And she wouldn't give it to me
Just a Pepsi!

WODJWOEUDAJ

hey there buddy chum pal friend buddy pal chum bud friend fella brother amigo pal buddy friend chummy chum chum pal
I don't mean to be rude my friend pal home slice bread slice dawg
but I gotta warn ya, if you take one more diddly darn step right there, I'm gonna have to diddly darn snap your neck
and wowza wouldn't that be a crummy juncture huh?
do you want that?
do you wish upon yourself to come into physical experience with a crummy juncture?
because friend buddy chum friend chum pally pal chum friend
if you keep this up then, well gosh diddly darn I just might have to get not so friendly with you
my friendly friend friend pal friend buddy chum pally friend chum buddy

nice hacks cheater reported enjoy your ban

Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.