Everyone knows Mario is cool as f*ck. But who knows what he's thinking? Who knows why he crushes turtles? And why do we think of him as fondly as we think about the mythical (nonexistent?) Dr Pepper. Perchance. I believe it was Kant who said "Experience without theory is blind, but theory without experience is mere intellectual play." Mario exhibits experience by crushing turts all day, but he exhibits theory by stating "Lets-a go" keep it up, baby! When Mario leaves his place of safety to stomp a turty, he knows he may die. And yet, for a man who can purchase lives with money, a life becomes a mere store of value. A tax that can be paid for much as a rich man feels any law with a fine is a price. We think of Mario as a hero, but he is simply a one percenter of a more privileged variety. The lifekind. Perchance.

I know this sounds like a joke but my friends keep telling me that I have to stick my testicles in the condom or else semen leaks out. Is that true? Do I really need to stick my balls in the condom? Please help.

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Back in 2015 I met Sans Undertale at a Comic-Con were he was wearing a jar jar binks costume. He grabbed my left cheek and as he looked into my eyes he whispered “meesa grabba yoosa kaboosa”. I was terrified for my life.

Kitchen. Thot. If woman want rights, how come woman big booty breast? If woMan Not OBJECT sex. why woman sexy dance?? Huh? Woman not want date me marry me, sex me - but woman walk out in MY neighbourhood!, wear clothes!, have big booby, sexy! sex! Body!, long hair, woman body? HUH? WOMAN NOT WANT SEX? If Woman want rights, NOT WANT SEX - but woman not want punch Face?!?!?! Hypocret. Attention seek. Whoree

The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.