6/16/24 hrt
- i forgot why i was so miserable. my pain is no longer salient to me. it's pretty funny in retrospect.
- i never forgot about you. if you were wondering, i still love you, friend.
- i have a thing where the moment i become proficient in something, i immediately lose interest in it. either that or i think "oh, i can do this. therefore, it is not impressive to me anymore." it's strange. everything that i am bad at is super impressive to me when done well. there is no mediocrity.
- i don't know what to do about the brick wall in my mind.
- ever since medically and socially transitioning, every day has a 70% chance to be excellent and full of sunshine. this is wonderful compared to the measly 15% chance for happiness prior to transitioning. i don't know what to do with all this happiness, and i fear that i'm taking too much pride in being trans. i have never felt consistent happiness in my life, and now it's at my doorstep in abundance. this is everything younger me wanted and more. life is so much fun. i love being alive.
- thank you for introducing me to bad suns. i'll be listening to this for a long time.

adding stuff that makes me smile in the future