10
Products
reviewed
98
Products
in account

Recent reviews by Lord Jsworth Scuffington O.C.N.

Showing 1-10 of 10 entries
2 people found this review helpful
1.4 hrs on record
Remember those good times you had in Doom and Doom 2, running around killing demons with ID Software bangers in the background? Well, guess what! There's absolutely none of that in this game!

It's just one dark corridor after the next, in which you can't see ♥♥♥♥ and move at the pace of a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ turtle. If you should happen to encounter an enemy, don't worry! Your guns have been neutered into the ground, and they're as generic as possible. Have fun killing -insert generic screeching slightly demonic alien here- with your marshmallow cannons.

Everything you liked about the previous titles is gone, including but not limited to:
-The movement
-The guns
-The art style
-The enemy design
-The world design
-The sound design
-The kickass music
-And just about everything else that made Doom fun

I seriously wonder sometimes if this game was just an alpha version of F.E.A.R.

If you want to play a generic first person shooter from the early 2000's, this is your game. If you want to play a Doom game, go somewhere else.
Posted 11 June, 2023. Last edited 20 June, 2023.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
273.0 hrs on record (218.3 hrs at review time)
CS:GO Review
Game is fun. Guns are decently varied. Maps are interesting and somewhat unique. Gameplay is usually multifaceted, but can get stale. Community is ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. Be prepared to be shot by teammates, have people disconnect, encounter people throwing intentionally, and all other manners of unpleasant occurrences that will make you want to stop playing. I am still unsure about leaving a positive recommendation. It is an active debate whether the game is enjoyable enough to get around the twenty percent of matches in which someone actively tries to make the game unfun for their teammates.
Posted 2 May, 2021.
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2 people found this review helpful
1 person found this review funny
1.5 hrs on record (0.2 hrs at review time)
Not the most physically revolting thing I played today. Still better than Sonic the Hedgehog.
Posted 12 February, 2021.
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2 people found this review helpful
94.4 hrs on record (90.2 hrs at review time)
TLDR: The game looks, sounds, and plays worse than previous installments. Everything is behind a paywall. The developers are either intentionally malicious, extremely incompetent, or both. Don't buy this game. Also, don't buy Street Fighter VI, because Capcom is just going to make the same mistakes with that game. Download one of the versions of Street Fighter Alpha or Street Fighter III for free and play for free on a certain emulator matchmaking service I can't explicitly mention but rhymes with Phightcade. Or, buy Street Fighter IV.

Gameplay: I hope you didn't enjoy playing the majority of characters from previous games in said previous games, because oh boy did they neuter the ♥♥♥♥ out of most of the cast. Half of each character's moveset is now either locked behind the V-system, combo-fodder, or just flat out missing. Moreover, every single character now is reliant on a specific optimal combo or two for any semblance of damage, including characters like Zangief, Chun-Li and E. Honda. I assure you, if you enjoy a character in this game, you will enjoy playing them in any other installment of Street Fighter much more.

Graphics: do I even need to say anything? This is by far one of the ugliest games, not just fighting games, I have ever seen. Street Fighter VI, while it does look like bootleg Mortal Kombat and though I thoroughly despise VI in its entirety, still looks better than this game.

Music: again, do I even need to say anything? There are some parts of the soundtrack I legitimately enjoy, but the majority of the music is just God-awful. That said, this is one place where V is far better than VI. The music in this game might suck, but at least it's music. The soundtrack for VI is just noise.

Sound design: it's pretty bad. Still better than VI, but still bad. The sound effects in this game honestly give me a headache.

The Paywall: this game, like all other modern fighting games, makes you pay out the ass for ever little addition to the game. This wouldn't be as bad if the base roster was comprehensive, but it isn't. Since the game is no longer receiving new characters, you can purchase it with all the characters included for a "more reasonable" price, but when it launched, you got only a handful of characters. This was made even worse by the fact that Capcom ALREADY had DLC characters lined up BEFORE the game was even released. And were people who bought the game years ago given anything as the game was updated and content was added? Nope. You were a sucker for buying this game early on. To acquire all the content you can for the game's current base price if you bought the game early on, you'd likely have to spend well over double said base price. Keeping all new characters locked behind DLC is scummy enough, but having said DLC planned out when launching the game is down right despicable. This is also a general fighting game problem. No other multiplayer genre has this problem.

The Developer: Capcom, while one of the least scummy and most in-tune with their audience FGC devs out there, is still a scummy, out-of-tune, and behind-the-times company. Like most fighting game developers, Capcom consistently spits in the face of long-time fans of Street Fighter by doing all they can to remove enjoyable aspects of past characters, refusing to use modern technology (finally getting rollback netcode one and a half DECADES after GGPO was developed in reaction to how utterly ♥♥♥♥ the netcode for online versions of SFII was), simply not adding in characters from previous games, engaging in egregious pay-walling, and pandering to the lowest common denominator outside of their seasoned player base.

To elaborate on that last point, this is a problem that was exacerbated to an extreme degree with the current (as of writing this review) transition from V to VI, but I'll note how it's a problem in V as well. In V, a large amount of the variety and intricacy of a great many characters was removed. Utility of normals and specials removed, the reliance of a lot of previous non-combo oriented characters on uncharacteristically long combos, a complete lack of variety of said combos, and the few remaining utlity options locked behind the V-system. And why was all this done? It wasn't done to appeal to players of previous Street Fighter games. It was done to make the game "palatable" for what Capcom considers the general public: a.k.a. people who pick up the game for five minutes, try to shoot some hadokens, complain about doing basic inputs, get killed by an opponent online doing nothing but shooting fireballs, put down the game in frustration, and never boot it up again. To sum it up, all this was done to entice what I'll call the Jump-Force-Mortal-Kombat-Injustice consumers to buy the game. This is a flawed strategy for a number of reasons, the main ones being that 1: said crowd of imbeciles are unlikely to buy the DLC for your game, since their attention span is too short to learn the basics of this game, even if it is extremely dumbed down, 2: ruining a game in this manner only serves to alienate fans of the series, thusly decreasing the number of customers who can be counted on to make repeated purchases of both games and DLC, and, most importantly, 3: GOOD GAMES APPEAL TO CONSUMERS OF ALL SKILL LEVELS AND EXPERIENCE, WHEREAS ♥♥♥♥ ONES APPEAL TO NOBODY.

In Street Figther VI, this problem has been cranked up to an eleven. Simple controls, "parries" which simply involve holding down the "parry button", previous characters being completed DLC BEFORE THE GAME EVEN ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ RELEASES, and new characters both replacing previous characters, who everyone would rather have back, and having their entire story and skill being predicated beating the ♥♥♥♥ out of current members of the cast. I could go on about how the new character designs are extremely boring, generic, and so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Gen Z that it hurts, but that's fairly obvious.

Capcom's general strategy for Street Fighter is akin to turning a five star restaurant into a fast food restaurant by trashing the decor and serving grilled shoe leather on buns, which they try to pass off as burgers, all because they think they'll be able to make more money since more people buy fast food than gourmet cuisine. Long-time customers refuse to return, and the new intended customer base, though mentally incompetent from a lifetime of eating nothing but Big Macs, can't get their fix of mindless dopamine from the trash being served. Thus, in a short time, the restaurant is empty. This analogy is not entirely accurate when applied to fighting games, since most members of the FGC are spineless***. A more appropriate analogy would be a previously high end restaurant that now looks like, smells like, and serves food that tastes like it came from a dumpster, which is still filled with the same wealthy customers who ate there before Capcom trashed the place. Only now, said customers try to delude themselves into thinking they're not eating ♥♥♥♥ by saying "this food is modern; so, it must be better than the old food. Don't question the chefs, and pretend like nothing's wrong".

***Addendum: If you took offense to my statement about the majority of the FGC being spineless, ask yourself: did I legitimately enjoy the most recent installment of fighting game X? Am I going to buy the next installment, despite having one or more serious gripes with and/or flat out dislike for the current installment? Am I going to buy the next installment despite having know that the devs are either not going to address things I take issue with and/or make them worse? Now ask those questions about the current and previous installments. Did I pay out the ass for DLC characters, when multiplayer games of no other genre make you pay for new characters? I encourage you to answer honestly and to think about said answers.
Posted 7 May, 2020. Last edited 28 December, 2022.
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1 person found this review helpful
84.4 hrs on record (60.2 hrs at review time)
Best netcode EU. I enjoy this game for the absolute booty-cheeks bootleg-ass PVE, but I would never subject myself to the mistake of nature and combo-dropping void that is the PVP. Best part is, all jokes and memes aside, still has some of the best netcode of any Dragon Ball fighting games on the market.
Posted 7 May, 2020.
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1 person found this review helpful
127.1 hrs on record (117.6 hrs at review time)
By far the best fighting game I've ever played. That being said, ♥♥♥♥ Lab Zero: taking the money and running. They finished half of the game and added half of the roster before ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ off. But don't worry, they recently made a new character .... for the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ mobile game. In short: good game; devs can eat a ♥♥♥♥.
Posted 7 May, 2020.
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1 person found this review helpful
22.6 hrs on record (1.2 hrs at review time)
I would rather play Bubsy 3D and Sonic CD at the same time. There is no God. But at least I found bonuses in the trees, though the game had a distinct lack of the scent of mother and no Danny Devito. 2/ε0.
Posted 11 February, 2018.
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1 person found this review helpful
2 people found this review funny
0.3 hrs on record
Why?
Posted 11 February, 2018.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
1,721.1 hrs on record (85.7 hrs at review time)
Ruined my life, took away my familly, friends, and pets, and took all my money. But I have a ton of hats. 10/10.
Posted 22 May, 2014.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
43.7 hrs on record (30.1 hrs at review time)
Really fun, all around great game.
Posted 10 November, 2013.
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Showing 1-10 of 10 entries