Recent reviews by dakotariesu

ZOOOM! oh hey, sorry, didn't see you there. i was too busy- WOAH! jesus, did you see that guy? anyway, i saw you over here and you looked pretty lonely. sooo y'know, just wanted to stop by. so... you wanna- DAMN!!! was that also a person?? where are these people coming from? ohh right! it's titanfall 2. it's titanfall 2. it's titanfall, you're falling and a titan. when you deploy the titan it falls, that's why they call it titanfall because it's falling from like... i don't know outer space or something dude don't ask me i'm not the know-it-all i'm just the dude with a keyboard and 12 hours. 12 hours? more like, this game is becoming a chronic addiction and breaking down every single barrier of speed and reality that i knew yesterday. speed. speed is all this game is about. it's pretty much a racing game, just with titans that fall. that's why it's called titanfall, because the titan's fall and from like, outer space or whatever.

wow. what a game. honestly, the first time i booted up this bad boy, i started crying. booting up the game sent me back, back into the time of peace and tranquility of my childhood, remembering the times when it was easier. life was easier. life was more... fair. i didn't work a nine to five. i didn't have to deal with an ex wife that constantly butchered my wallet for child support. i'm not living. this isn't how i want life to be. i want to go back to the first time i got slammed by the flaming ball rolling down the stairs. i don't want this, i never wanted this. as a child, i always envisioned my life being fun. i wanted to live my life to the fullest. but here i am. what the hell man... what happened? yeah i'd say this game is pretty fun you should try it out if you like DARK SOULS.

WHAT? HUH? WHAT DID YOU SAY? SORRY I'M TOO BUSY OPPA G- no, no no no no no no no LOOK. look and see the B skin of life. where is it? how do i acquire it? so basically i was hittin the boof down the hoofta doofda with my boy, Griznek, yeah we were flippin down the wazoo but as soon as i turn the corner, i see Jared of Legdom. hate boils within my system, thinking about Jared and how he Anyways uhm... I bought a whole bunch of shungite, rocks, do you know what shungite is? Anybody know what shungite is. No, no Suge Knight, I think hes locked up in prison. Talking shungite. Anyways, its a 2 billion year old like rock, stone that protects against frequencies and unwanted frequencies that may be traveling in the air. So thats my story. I bought a whole bunch of stuff, put them around the la casa. Little pyramids. Stuff like that.

so, imagine this. you're sitting down, enjoying your meal of OATS and BOATS from newest cereal company Kegrens, competing with cereal mega giant Kelloggs. you take a bite of your cereal bar, only to realize, the world is on fire. your house? CRUMBLED. your family? STUCK IN THE ROOM. your escape? the cries of your family haunt you as you trudge longer. longer and longer the night grows faster, only for the darkness to consume your very being, your very soul. you see the look on Xie Shu's face, your daughter as she screams for you to save her, only for her last gaze on life is your back, turning as you run. god, the sorrow. the sorrow only brings the thoughts of death to your head. what am i doing here? what is my purpose. the Americans? we have to defend our home... for little Xie Shu. MY Xie Shu. look for the gummy bear album

so, you wanna step up with the big boys, eh? you wanna tickle and dabble with the little kitty, only to see the big guy in the middle. that's him, that's the killer. dead by daylight? more like they wanna see me in the limelight. god, lemme tell ya, this game is a mixed bag. a bag mixed full of big boys, and small women. women in this game? women. so basically you run around, and like when i say run around, i really mean it. you hop over stuff, escaping this guy. guy? no, woman. woman doing crack is the newest killer. the newest, and when i say newest i mean smack dab- WOAH HIT THE NAE NAE- and that's what i mean by the killing of the Siberian children during the Disaster of the Dragons in 19 A.D. sooo, off topic but, what shoe size you wear?

so yeah. this game? pretty good. oh yeah, you'll get a lot of enjoyment outta this one buddy lemme tell ya. oh this game? DARK SOULS III? good one, that's a good one indeed. a banger, the kids say. this game gives you one helluva ride. helluva boss? no, not that. a helluva time, thats what you'll get with this one. the bosses in this game are pretty sick too. a little easy, a little hard, no in the middle, no in the far. the far left? no, this game is more like the progressive right. other than that, this game? enjoyable. you'll get a lot of enjoyment outta this bad boy. if you see it on sale, you should buy it. if not on sale, then you should still buy it. there's this one boss and he goes "kabloom." yeaahh that'll show them. it'll show them that Anyways uhm... I bought a whole bunch of shungite, rocks, do you know what shungite is? Anybody know what shungite is. No, no Suge Knight, I think hes locked up in prison. Talking shungite. Anyways, its a 2 billion year old like rock, stone that protects against frequencies and unwanted frequencies that may be traveling in the air. So thats my story. I bought a whole bunch of stuff, put them around the la casa. Little pyramids. Stuff like that.

yeah this game aight