thinking of plotting something? he's your guy

Okay so please listen to what I have to say. Im really confused so a while ago, I was masturbating with an egg when right when I was about to orgasm, my vag just like, sucked it up. It was like a vaccum. Not just a regular vaccum, my vag is a dyson. Anyway, I was so scared that I spent the rest of the night trying to queef that egg out but it wouldn't come out.

The next day, while I was playing basketball during gym, the egg fell out and into my underwear! I was so afraid to take it out because I was scared people were going to think i was growing a penis or something. When I got home, I took it out and found out that the egg had HARD-BOILED! My vagina is a vaccum and a pot of boiling water! It hard-boiled an egg!

Im not done! So I didnt know what else to do so i put the egg in the fridge and a couple hours later, my dad was eating an Egg Salad Sandwhich! He then started gagging and coughing.

Should I tell my dad about the egg?

OK I ADMIT IT I LOVE YOU OK i ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ love you and it breaks my heart when i see you play with someone else or anyone commenting in your profile i just want to be your boyfriend and put a heart in my profile linking to your profile and have a walltext of you commenting cute things i want to play video games talk in discord all night and watch a movie together but you just seem so uninterested in me it ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ kills me and i cant take it anymore i want to remove you but i care too much about you so please i'm begging you to either love me back or remove me and NEVER contact me again it hurts so much to say this because i need you by my side but if you don't love me then i want you to leave because seeing your icon in my friendlist would kill me everyday of my pathetic life

F U WERE KILLED TOMORROW, I WOULDNT GO 2 UR FUNERAL CUZ ID B N JAIL 4 KILLIN DA MOTHA ♥♥♥♥♥ THAT KILLED U!


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WE TRUE HOMIES
WE RIDE TOGETHER
WE DIE TOGETHER
Send this GUN to everyone you care about including me if you care. C how many times you get this, if you get a 9 your A TRUE HOMIE

lil' ♥♥♥

+rep haxor