SEX

Hi xD

I sexually Identify as a Salafist Jihadist. Ever since ISIS proclaimed the worldwide caliphate I dreamed of praising Allah, slaying the apostates and enemies of Islam with the butt of my AK-47 assault rifle, and uploading videos of myself and my fellow holy warriors beheading disgusting foreigners and other infidels who do not pledge their eternal allegiance to Caliph Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi. People say to me that a person being a salafist jihadist is wrong and I’m -blam!-ing retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install high-caliber explosives and smuggled weapons and ammunition on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “Ahmed Muhammad ibn Omar Sheikh bin Muhammad” and respect my right to spontaneously explode in crowded public spaces and massacre civilians and innocent bystanders in the name of Islam. If you can’t accept me you’re a jihadiphobe and need to check your apostate privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

Thanks for the compliment, my ♥♥♥♥♥.

What's this you've said to me, my good friend? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in conflict resolution, and I've been involved in numerous friendly discussions, and I have over 300 confirmed friends. I am trained in polite discussions and I'm the top mediator in the entire neighborhood. You are worth more to me than just another target. I hope we will come to have a friendship never before seen on this Earth. Don't you think you might be hurting someone's feelings saying that over the internet? Think about it, my friend. As we speak I am contacting my good friends across the USA and your P.O. box is being traced right now so you better prepare for the greeting cards, friend.

The greeting cards that help you with your hate. You should look forward to it, friend. I can be anywhere, anytime for you, and I can calm you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my chess set. Not only am I extensively trained in conflict resolution, but I have access to the entire group of my friends and I will use them to their full extent to start our new friendship. If only you could have known what kindness and love your little comment was about to bring you, maybe you would have reached out sooner. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now we get to start a new friendship, you unique person. I will give you gifts and you might have a hard time keeping up. You're finally living, friend.