Hi my names Matt and im here to bring you an exciting new offer from Valve
Hi there, do you like games that have no concept of hit registration or accuracy? well then this is the game you have been waiting for, in this new version of the same game that they have been making since 2000 you will face off against players in 5 on 5 counter terrorist vs terrorist matches, not only will you be pitched against players that are way out of your skill range, but until you get your first ten wins, you dont even get a skill range, plus say you want to actually rank up, and you only have a little bit of time on your hands, well stop right there because if you dont finish a match you will get ban for a period of time, say your internet dies, and it is no way your fault, no problem because Valve is gunna slap you with a ban anyway, got somehwere important to be? not anymore unless you want to get ban, accidentaly shoot your teammate? no problem you will only get ban for 24 hours! i know how can this offer get anymore exciting you may ask? well wait... theres more, right now if you purchase this game for the low price of $14.99 you will also get the feeling of wanting to slit your wrist everytime you play this game, absolutley free. Now let me tell you, not only is this game another amazing mod of the half life two engine, just like every other game valve makes, this one comes with the added bonus of making you hate your life that much more, and wondering why you even bought it in the first place, sounds like a great deal i know? but wait there is even more to come, for the low price of $2.49 you can buy a key to unlock a case, that is if you win a case or buy one of the market, most of which will give you a terrible skin that you wont want on your gun, and that will be worth about $.10, i know how can this get any better you ask? well ill tell you, because there is indeed more! Because with the purchase of this game, it also include no sense of damamge aswell, you got a headshot with a P90 at point blank, well i can tell you what, that guy isn't going to be dead, and he will probably kill you with a knife to the toe, how much more real can you get? if you purchase this game for the low price of $14.99 right now you will also get guns that all have there barrles curved at a random angle and the best part is, each one is curved in a different way, making it impossible to know which way the bullets will shoot, i know sounds like a fantastic game, if i were you i'd buy it right now, buy one for your freinds, maybe that kid at school you hate, or your brother, because this game will make you hate yourself enough to want to kill yourself. Buy this Valve product today, before the price goes up!


Side effects of CS:GO include anger, depression, confusion, destruction of essential computer parts, erectile disfunction, cutting yourself, suicidal thoughts in yound adults, and death.

( note Valve is not responsible for any damage done to your social life, and well being, just like they are not responsible for making physics, damamge, and accuracy a real thing in there game ) Buy it today!

Im Matt and one again if you really love life, buy this product because you will hate it after an hour of this game.