Recente recensies door Selphos

I thought this was pretty amusing for a bit but then they told me to eat bad food to take damage to make room for more healing items and I kind of wanted to tell the dev to go ♥♥♥♥ himself.

"The course is however riddled with shortcuts which, when spotted, can save a lot of time and frustration."
Yeah unless they're not actual shortcuts and are in fact just slapdashed unity garbage that you can't surmount which you find out as you're falling even further. Sucks too, I was enjoying the game for a while. Felt more honest than most rage platformers, such as they are.

Also drop the horror subtheming, it adds nothing but annoying sound effects.

Happy to use the free weekend to find Warhammer III is no less ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ a year later than when I played and refunded it just after release 👍
Even on ""normal"" difficulty the advantages the AI receives and their bias against the player to the exclusion of all other priorities are absolutely comical, or would be if they weren't so infuriating.
While I played an endless scooby doo chase scene against constantly reemerging doomstacks in the same province my buddy was dealing with military allies walking away from their own provinces in the face of their enemies to stab him in the back like a heroic pit bull.
Hardly 30 turns pass before each attempt just gets exhausting. It just isn't fun.

Death Stranding might be one of the worst games I've ever played.

Now, I've never played the metal gear games. I have no attachment to Kojima or his supposed genius. I went in expecting wacky ass-pull writing but oh boy did I get it in far greater spades than I ever expected. But that's not why I hate the game, no. If you beware spoilers, probably stop reading, since with the nature of the plotline I'm really not sure where to start considering things spoilers so I'm just not going to. Let's see:

Things I liked in Death Stranding, in whatever order I think of them:
- Sam
- Sam saying "bullsh*t" to stupid plot twists at the same time I did
- Deadman (grew on me)
- Exploring the map to make number go up
- The part of the game where you build highways and unlock trucks and deliveries become American Truck Simulator
- Wiping out Mule camps with a truck to fund those highways
- Mads Mikkelsen
- Realizing how much of a non-threat BTs actually are once you have weapons, and how much further trivialized they are by the melee takedown you get for them later, making Chiral Crystals a total non-concern for the rest of the game

Things I didn't like in Death Stranding:
- The things Sam said were bullsh*t happening anyway
- Melee combat
- Ranged combat
- The part of the game where enemies suddenly become able to die so running over them with vehicles to avoid the garbage combat is no longer an option
- Realizing how comically long it takes for bodies to go necro, and how many fit in a truck to trivialize delivering them, so killing people isn't actually a concern at all, despite what a big deal they make of it
- The introduction of lethal firearms to the player also introducing them to every single enemy for the rest of the game including in areas you'd been to before
- The game's abject hostility to the transportation shortcuts it itself gave you, trying to force you to walk around in the sticks that vehicles can't or won't take whenever it can
- Snow, when every vehicle offered to you has slick tires, compounding the above, and making walking even worse
- That time I had to carry a specific cargo through the snowy mountains that was so fragile the random physics interactions the bike causes destroyed it, giving me one of my 2 game overs in the entire playthrough, forcing me to walk through the waist-high snow for what must have been multiple hours, about half of which being through BT territory
- That time I had to carry a specific cargo through simple, familiar territory, except every BT area in the path was scripted to immediately start a boss BT encounter, forcing me out of my vehicle and throwing my cargo, and to evacuate until it despawned from distance, which combined with the scripted unending rain caused a delivery of 100% container damage 99% cargo damage
- The inescapable boss fight at the end of the above run, which is the one thing I wouldn't dare spoil, but took like 20 minutes of standing around shooting it until its health ran out (you still have the cargo during this btw)
- Heartman
- Heartman's university lectures on theories of humanity that I could not care less about
- Fragile
- Every subsequent time after the first that Fragile said "I'm Fragile, but I'm not that fragile"
- Every other goofy reveal of why these characters have these "symbolic" names (you'll love finding out why they call him Die-Hardman)
- Kojima rewriting the entire history of not only mankind but the entire universe to fit into his plotline but still referencing contemporary real-world events, like this could still happen but we just don't know about it yet
- Codex entries being locked behind specific arbitrary orders that appear entirely at random
- Fighting Mads Mikkelsen (ever seen that movie clip where two guys in an apartment fire fully loaded automatic rifles at each other and neither of them fall down? It's like that)
- The guy who constantly makes video game jokes about himself and calls himself the final boss and isn't the final boss
- The 1 for 1 replica of the snake vs liquid fistfight from MGS4 but worse and with none of the stakes or attachment
- Being given "a choice" where taking either of the two options causes a game over and you actually have to take a third option not presented or explained to continue
- Unskippable "playable" credits that the game loredumps at you during, forcing you to take action between each piece of dialogue for them to continue even though nothing is happening and you can't do anything
- A post-credits cutscene where you watch the actual events play out that were loredumped at you anyway, begging the question of why they bothered
- The ending itself being like 6 hours; my game actually crashed in the middle of it and I was almost very upset, but for a mercy an autosave was created at the end of the playable credits so I could just cutscene skip back to where I was

And finally
- Spending 100 hours of my life seeing through this ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ to make number go up and because I just had to know how it ended and receiving the worst ending of my life since Mass Effect 3, and THEN finding out even if I finished 100%ing the game it would still be incomplete because there is an additional "Legends of Legends" delivery rank for Hard mode AND a "Legend of Legends of Legends" rank for Very Hard, what a joke

I did think that the reveal that the BB in the Mads Mikkelsen flashbacks was actually Sam, not your BB, and both of their reactions to finding that out was pretty cool though. Only part of the ending I liked.

I will not be playing Death Stranding 2, and I will never finish a game I'm not enjoying for the sake of the story again. Hideo Kojima is a hack and a clown.

I am begging indie game guys to just once make a game where the dialogue doesn't feel like a clown nose they're honking at you repeatedly for making the ridiculous blunder of trying to read the game's text.

Also shooting stuff with cannons feels really clunky and tedious, which isn't great, and having extra ships in your fleet feels pointless when they will never keep pace with you.

Play this game. It kicks an insane amount of ass. Sonic would be proud of the speed and more importantly finesse on display here.

Unironically the best Sonic game in at least a decade. The story is great, the stages are fun, the bosses are sick as hell. Combat is a nice change of pace and still feels appropriately fast. Full of nods to other Sonic games that make me point and yell "I know that one" like the worst kind of comic nerd.
It's got its flaws, but nothing that makes me stop having fun.
Optimization clowns can shove it, I played on a 1060 and it was solid to me.

Now release the soundtrack so I can buy that too.

I've put up with a lot of ♥♥♥♥ from this video game.
It's been one new cool thing and two new bad things every update. This time, with the long-awaited Adventure Update, they made the decision to remove blessed whips, with no warning and no compensation for people who already did it. The choice they gave you last update to play with blessings or not? Not anymore. People were winning in the single player game too much, and that's bad.

I'm not touching this ♥♥♥♥ again until they give them back.

--------

Whoop whoop everybody, it's been a year and a half with literally no news from the developers or game updates and now 1.0 is here, and they removed whip curses entirely!

The catch?

Now you just gain a new curse every floor.

Some of these curses are the same as the old ones, like phantoms stealing coins, extra fall damage, and so on, and some of them are genuinely insane like instant death while holding a key or taking damage if you don't spam your new omnidirectional dash on cooldown - the dash sucks by the way, I said when it was announced it was a bad idea - or having all three guardians chase you simultaneously for the rest of the entire temple.

Also even if you don't wipe your save you have to clear every new adventure mode challenge sequentially before you can use all your old whips.

Yeah, sure, cool beans. Glad it was worth the wait.

FURTHER UPDATE: Just finished the "adventure mode" and rolled credits.
What a complete ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ waste of time.
Don't play this ♥♥♥♥.

Cool game for a few months that, like every other, Bamco quickly abandoned for anything other than a quick buck. I have no idea how it's gotten updates for so long. The gacha system for survivor abilities must pay well, which I believe, for how exploitative it is.

Nothing I said in my old review still applies but I'll leave it below for history's sake.


Bandai Namco really took a popular Western game and spoofed it with their anime IPs to make a better product than the original twice in a row.

I have my complaints, but far fewer than DBD or its other wannabes, and more importantly the faithfulness to the source material can be felt dearly in every character, and it's fun to play.

I put 27 hours into this the weekend it came out and it was mostly survivor. And I'll do it again. You wouldn't catch me willingly playing survivor that much in the rest of the genre at all because they're ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ boring.

I really don't care for the grapple hook actually being a grapple swing that is as long as your distance from the point on cast, to be honest.

Also I had this happen twice in two minutes. https://streamable.com/vcviwm