Listen up zoomers. Before corporations ruined the internet, we used to have this thing called “earnestness”. People would share the real versions of themselves online; before the fake plastic, performative, SSRI fueled, anxiety ridden instagramified versions they portray today. We also used to be allowed to like and enjoy things unironically.

I know, I know. It really was a better time. You missed out, and it’s your fault. Sorry.

Below is a list of games that I connected with throughout my life. Read on to learn a little bit about what shaped my formative and adult years, and what we used to have. Maybe they will inspire you to replace an hour of doomscrolling with philosophy books and fiction written before 2005.


Animal Crossing: Wild World - TRUTH NVKE: Wild World > New Horizons. They turned Animal Crossing into a half-assed live service crafting survival game. The dialog used to be so good man. Two weeks into playing New Horizons, I felt like I had heard everything the villagers were ever going to say. Building relationships with the store owners, Tom, Mable & Sable, etc. felt so good. Discovering the various secrets and events were really special to me. Now the game has been optimized and minmaxed to hell, which it definitely was back then (shout out to animalcrossingforums.com , we used to share friend codes and then go to McDonalds to use their free Wi-Fi trade rare paintings. Nintendo partnered with McDonald’s at the time to get kids playing DS’s into the restaurants. I know. They actually wanted people to leave the house.), but it wasn’t the preferred way to play.
Batman: Arkham Knight - RIP Rocksteady. No really. It’s been a decade and we got a Suicide Squad where you ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ kill Batman because he “causes psychological harm to criminals”, and literally piss on The Flash. And then you kill Superman with bullets. THEN they canceled the Superman open world game, which probably would have released alongside the new Superman movie I mean ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Rest In Peace. If you haven’t played these games, I’m almost jealous. Enjoy your peak.
Elite Beat Agents - Enjoyed the hell out of this back in the day. According to the new gens, this was made into some online game called osu. I went to “THE” Ohio State University, so my SEO would never have allowed me to see that game. I doubt it has an amazing story with anime men in black that save the world via dancing. I feel like this plays best on actual DS hardware, but to each their own. Truly, truly wish Nintendo would revive this. But now that their man console is an Android tablet, I doubt we will get something experimental like this again.
Fallout: New Vegas - It is too clunky. It only gets good 10 hours in. It’s all talking. It’s overhyped.
Fallout 76 - first 6 months, chef's kiss. It’s such a ♥♥♥♥♥♥ game fundamentally. I ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ hate the live service FOMO slop. But damn if the Fallout loop isn’t fun, and the world isn’t amazing to explore. I genuinely enjoyed the world as desolate as it was. It felt like a true post apocalypse. I hear it’s really good now, I haven’t forced myself to jump back in and grind, because all of my gear was nerfed to hell (two shot explosive lmao).
GTA IV: The Ballad of Gay Tony - Remember good rockstar stories? GTA IV perfectly encapsulates America in the mid to late 2000s. All three protagonists of GTA IV are great in their own right, but Luis always felt a little more “real” or “down to earth.” Being a kid from a ♥♥♥♥♥♥ neighborhood with friends who are still stuck in the past, employers who are so stupid yet somehow obscenely rich, and a family that is a burden as much as a blessing. If you want some pain, we were supposed to have single player DLCs for both GTA V and RDR 2. But you ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ zoomers couldn’t not buy shark cards to the tune of billions of dollars, basically telling Rockstar that they never have to try again. And now the studio is wholly different from what it was, Theseus’s Ship typ ♥♥♥♥. Mark my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ words, GTA VI is going to be NOWHERE near as good as V or IV.
Guild Wars 2 - Any of my friends who loved Guild Wars back in the day say that 2 is ♥♥♥♥ compared to 1. But unfortunately, I never played 1. I also played Guild Wars 2 at launch and experienced some of the best community moments of my gaming life, even stopping by a fellow guildmates property not once but twice, in Georgia and Michigan. Shoutout to the OG PLNT. Sylvari gang 4lyfe.
MGSV: The Phantom Pain - Came to this series late but i will cherish it forever. Kojima truly has that dog in him. I can understand thinking it’s ridiculous, over the top, cliché, and stupid. But if you don’t “get” the MGS series, then we are just fundamentally different, and I honestly feel bad for you. My man predicted the rise of AI in like 2002. I played them in this order: V, 3, 2, then 4. Personally, never played 1, just didn’t have a PS growing up. Loved the novelization of it, however. MGS V is such a great example of everything feeding back into a central theme of “the war economy.” You have your base, the soldiers, the missions, the environment, the upgrades, the story, the online play, all kind of feeding the theme “endless war” in war-torn countries to gain power and money. If you read some history, the rise of Private Military Companies (PMCs) is also pretty true to life, if not exaggerated.
Pokémon Gold/Silver - If you didn't carry your game boy link cables to school you missed out. Personally Gen II is my favorite as I feel like over 250 is way better than 151. But the art style remained very consistent, the story was great, and going back to KANTO?! I felt like that ♥♥♥♥ was revolutionary. Why haven’t we had a modern Pokémon game that spans multiple regions? Game Freak and Nintendo are too busy suing indie companies, they can’t focus on making a decent game with the most profitable franchise on the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ planet.
Sins of a Solar Empire The only 4X game I’ve really dove into. think it’s just great. The games last 4 hours but not 400 hours.
Sonic Adventure 2 - I have a little bit of the ‘tism in me. Loved the Sonic games growing up. Rollin' around at the speed of sound
Team Fortress 2 - will still be around after Overwatch Overwatch 2
Total War: Shogun 2 - SHOOOGGUUUUU-



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