Our Steam,
Who art at Valve,
Hallowed be thy games.
Your service runs,
With connection on,
As it is DRM.
Give us this day our daily deals,
And forgive us our piracy,
As we forgive those who pirate against us.
And lead us not into other services,
But deliver us from evil publishers.
For thine is the PC kingdom,
Power,
And glory forever.
Gaben.

And Gabe spake all these words, saying,
I am the Lord thy Gaben,
which have brought thee
out of application of Origin,
out of the house of EA.

I am the lord thy Gaben
Thou shalt have no other platforms before Steam
Thou shalt not make unto thee any "Gaben is fat" jokes
Thou shalt not take the name of Gabe Newell thy Gaben in vain
Remember the holiday sales, to emtieth thy wallet
Honour thy Portal and Half-Life
Thou shalt not commit asshatery
Thou shalt not pirate
Thou shall not bear false witness against thy neighbour killstreak
Thou shall not convet thy neighbour's games, thou shalt not convet thy neighbour's achievements, nor his hats, nor his DLC, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy steam friend's.