me, lying in bed with my gamer wife: sorry babe. i’m just not feeling very epic tonight. :(

gamer wife: oh no! f :( is there anything i can do?

me: thanks for paying respects and for respecting my boundaries. and no this is something that not even your epic gamer love can fix. you’re the best thing to ever happen to me and i thank gamer jesus everyday that i met you while you were taking out the trash at the gamestop and i was dumpster diving behind the gamestop.

have a nice day