Recent reviews by Fat White Lump

Silent Hill 2 is a remake of Resident Evil 8, you play as Ethan Winters, a white guy that calls himself James Sunderland because he's having some kind of mental breakdown because RE8 was so ♥♥♥♥ and it was supposed to be his turn to have a good Resident Evil game. Konami charges you $70 for combat worse than the the PS3 game, The Last of Us. You get a letter from your wife that died a hot minute ago, so you go through some foggy weather machine/bird flu drone spraying town. You're supposed to meet some woman with a square head, I think it's a minecraft movie promo but they should have just put jack black in. Then there's some fat guy that likes pizza, he's cool, pizza is a good. And some dumb little girl that called me a fartface and locked me in a room with some eldritch horror for some reason, some mouth ♥♥♥♥ on their arms, maybe it's some ♥♥♥♥♥ symbolism or something, idk. This game kinda sucks, it has a few endings, I got some late 90's sitcom ending but I don't want to spoil it. Don't buy this, it's ♥♥♥♥ to play and they confuse you until the last 15 minutes of the game to artificially make you think that the game is deep and has a message. ♥♥♥♥ it and ♥♥♥♥ Konami.

I saw a screenshot of the community manager telling me to leave a negative review so here I am. I love community managers, they're never silly billies and they're so cool and smart.

RIP Rocksteady

Todd and his legion of goons are back at it again so I have to review this piece of ♥♥♥♥. If they start anything in this review I will 1v1 them in a neopets battle and rip them a new one.

Ok so there's that guy on the internet with the toe head that screaming about "♥♥♥♥♥ pronouns" but it's space and the future, you're going to have some crazy penis removal tech dude, it's sci-fi. Maybe scream about how ♥♥♥♥ the game is instead of the gender slider.

So yeah it's bethesda, we're still using gamebryo, same thing they've been using since 2002 so it barely works but nobody there knows how to use anything else so they keep doing it. They saw that no man's sky thing, modern star wars, and I don't know maybe the gay star trek guy and wanted to make a fallout 4 mod of that. So they did, and it sucks. Even with 8 years, you still get a story about absolutely nothing, some of the clunkiest combat since morrowind, and infinite ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ loading screens. You can't even use money to fix this, the fastest SSD will not save you from loading into every single little area every 3 minutes. This game bums me out, it's so bad and lifeless. Just let AI take over video games at this point if this is considered one of the best games of the year, it can't get any worse than this. Mods will never fix this, we'll still be modding New Vegas and Skyrim for at least another 10 years.

Todd, I will record a drunken wrestling promo calling you out if you still work for Bethesda when Elder Scrolls 6 gameplay is shown and it just looks like this while using gamebryo again. Your company sucks, you're trying to ruin all of your franchisdes, and you suck. I am off the Todd hype train, he lost it.

4.67/10 MTN DEW Game Fuels
"Go find a website that is giving it out for free, overdose on microwaved honeybuns and bud light; maybe it's fun then"

Eat a cinder block instead of playing this ♥♥♥♥.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ was this ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ bad, do not buy this unless you're already addicted to this ♥♥♥♥. Nimbus is the most reddit character ever written in anything ever, please stop this.

True epic gamers know that they need this skin to succeed in Modern Warfare® II's skill-based matchmaking. I am the true sentinel player, I will never move.

Entitled gamers need to stop expecting a finished $70 game. THERE WAS A PANDEMIC YOU BIGOTS. This is totally fine for the 20th attempt at shoot the guy with only 5000 employees working on it. Also a nice usuable hulu ui is what we need, text is too confusing for me. I prefer scrolling for minutes and don't want to be overwhelmed by seeing everything at a glance. Skill based match making is a good thing, I don't want to play against anyone better than me. I want to face clones of myself forever so I never need to improve. Less features, less maps, and less guns is what the series needed. Stop being entitled, they'll patch it and fix it just like they always do.

Bring back modded clients.

Wow I can't believe 343 lied and ♥♥♥♥♥♥ up again, this is crazy.

Aight boys this is it. Woke WW2 didn't work out so great. But what about woke near future? WAIT, it's cool I promise. They got rid of classes and gave us Overwatch characters that nobody can jack off to and can use any gadget they want because we're all just pink inside. :)

Oh? You think that sounds like ♥♥♥♥? Well eff you, bigot. Let me quote that one guy that used to work for Dice "You have two choices: either accept it or don't buy the game. I'm fine with either or." - Patrick Somethingland.

What if I told you they found a way to make the game run worse, look worse, and play worse than any other Battlefield game on frostbite? Would you give EA your $60 then? No? Dude, that's so messed up of you. This is a "le love letter to Battlefield fans". I read that on reddit, so it must be true. The weapon bloom is totally good, making guns have random recoil that you'll never ever be able to account for makes the game better. :)

8 MAPS COME ON!!! They're so heckin huge, they let you run for 5 minutes and then get sniped. That's totally cool that they made the maps way bigger but didn't increase the vehicle limits at all, so you get to walk even more. :)

Overall gamers, this is the best fps game ever made. All of those idiots playing BF4 and BF1 will come to this and proudly proclaim "WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE!!!!" followed by something offensive like "poggers".

I hate EA and Dice so much, it's unreal.