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I come to study clothing and fashion at American university. I am here short time and very hard stress. I am gay and very religious. I never act gay with other men before. After 6 week in America, I am with gay friend. He show me American fashion and we kiss.
We have sex. I never tell my mother about gay because I am very ashamed. As I have sex with American boy, it feel good but I feel extreme guilty. During orgasm, I feel so guilty I call mother in Russia, waking her up. I am upset, guilty, and crying. I yell, "I AM ♥♥♥ FROM SEX" (in Russian). She confused and say don't marry American girl. I say, "NO I AM ♥♥♥ FROM SEX WITH MAN, I AM IN ASS, I ♥♥♥ IN ASS." My mother very angry but not scared.
I hang up phone, very embarrass. My friend also embarrass. I feel guilt and stupid. I wonder why I am gay with man, but I continue because it feel very good.