[carlton repeatedly walks down stairs] [metal gear theme starts playing, carlton sneaks around the house] [will catches carlton] “Gotcha!” [carlton screams oh my god and runs away] “drink 5 hour energy. Its not a drink, more like a drink” “WHOOOOoooH” “hey J did you bring the mail in yet” “No Oo Oo Ive been saving that to calm myself lest i get too gibby from rubbing my Coc” [laugh track] “you know you really need a woman J” [laugh track] “whats a woman?” [Music starts playing] “whats a woman Whats a whatsa whats a woman woman?” “drink 5 hour energy. Drink 5 hour energy. Drink DRnk DRIIINK 5HOUR ENERGY 5HUORU ENRRGY” [scene switches to kithcen] “i figured it out will im gonna get dad what he alwaus wanted” “what a pizza hut in the garage.” [laugh track] [laugh track intensifies to dangerous volume levels] [laugh track makes carltons dialogue inaudible] [will stares in the camera] [laugh track finally stops] “watch and learn” [metal gera Phone interface] “hello is president bush there” “Im sorry. I cant hear you very well” “look at those funny little markings undernetah the pictures. We call them words.” “very well.” “is president bush there?” “icant read.” “AAAA” “ill see You later.” [interface closes] [carlton looks confused and offended] “A” [laugh track] [carlton grins in camera] [closeup of uncle phil] “Hey J would you make me a sandwich?” “noo” [carlton shakes head disappointed] [fresh prince theme plays] “now this is a story all about how my license plate got flipped turned upisde down and id like to take a ♥♥♥♥ on a couple of guys and my mum” “my mum got scared and said “nibedybu” iw as lookigng for a cab and when it came near the license plate said WISCONSIIIIN and a nceinaiear if anything i could say NANANANAAN” [will gets punched in theface at soundbarrier breaking speed] “directions.” “phil what are you talking about im not having any” “meem” [laugh track] “well yes directions. Yea thank you” [bell sound] “?seY” [laugh track] “geoffrey from an objective point of view WHOWHWOHWOH” [laugh track] [geoffrey stares at uncle phil’s dangerously inflated belly] [inaudible remixing and scratihing] [carlton makes noises] “hello is preseseseses there.” “noo” “is president bush there.” “nooOoOO” “carlton. Carltn. Its carlton.” [laugh track] “hey carlton are you by any chance carlton” “noo” “not available? Perhamps you should let george noo that its carlton. Im in a position to scratch his bush if hell scratch mine, kapish?” [laugh track] “helloo?” [laugh track] “Well i think you are being really unreasonable.” “well tough ♥♥♥♥ i dont care.” [laugh track] “for you sir” “♥♥♥♥ Phillip Banks. Banks wants to empty the banks, fill our streets with banks, and run a bank-making operation out of his banks.” “but dad arent some of those banks.” [laugh track] [uncle phil grows two heads] [will stares in the camera] “carlton honey theyre all luls.” “how can they get awa-“ ”theres still time to fight back.” [phil slaps paper on desk successively] “Im not gonna fight back.” “What?” “What?” “What?” “What?” “What?” “What?” “What?” “What?” “Im not gonna fight back.” “What?” “What?” “What?” “What?” “WHAT?!” “AwwwwwwAAwww” “wuw” “Let me tell you a little story.” “oh no.” [laugh track] [fresh prince theme plays] “Now this is a story all about how this young boy that lived in philly right. And he was the prettiest boy you ever seen in your life. And right next to him lived this filthy mcrotten dude. And he wanted his body, right so one day the dude was about to get it on right. The young boy said no you cant be my boyfriend. [don’t feel like writing dwon the clue of a rape joke] “noo” “because the nasty dude had a two headed coc!” “so. The story is about you isn’t it will?” “…. thats right uncle phil..” “Will you should be ASHAMED of yourself!” “twoheadeadeadooheadeadoo” [♥♥♥♥♥♥ up sounds] [the family watching this scene on a television] “More after this.” “Yeyeyey mumumum untsuntsutns whooohw” [laugh track] “Uncle Phil you gotta kick that mans BUTT” [ground shakes upon saying butt] [echoing voices] “oh he like beggin it oh phillip banks kcik my butt” [laugh track] “phillip banks you should kick my butt” “phillip banks kick the mans butt-utt-tt” “That goes against everything i stand for!” “whats your PoPOPOPOINT?” [laugh track] [uncle phil sings a little tune] [scene switch] “With over ninethousand of the districts reporting, Judge Robertson has overvolmignginly defeated the districts reporting” [laugh track with zoom on uncle phils face] “hey on a brighter note i see you brought your lovely family with you” “uhu” “including your daughter KFC. Your father sucks. so tell me, are you free for dinner tonight?” [rimshot, no laugh track though] “my father just got an erection.” [laugh track, camera zooms in on uncle phil’s face, he winks] “ouch” [“Will and the gang suddenly teleport to an undisclosed location or something”] “WEEEll who do we have here?” “lets get the hell out of here.” “there goes phillip banks, the biggest ass that ever lived. What a douche. Haha!Haha!HaAHAha!” “excuse me?” “you heard me. SES.” “i think you should take that back man.” “Oh, you do?” “yea” “well i think youre a big boy.” “Man you can drop DEaaaaad…” “heheheh” [judge Robertson gets a heart attack, making strange noises while repeatedly falling on the ground] [laugh track] “oh my god… hes god…” [will grows a halo, “HALLELUJAH, HALLELUJAH”] [will sprints out of the room and makes different screams] [scene changes to big bear’s blue house] “how are you doing baby?” “huhh, i just feel so guilty aunt vev.” “i don’t care.” “i know aunt vev, agedegedegeded” [carlton slides into the room] “WhEEHhheeEEEEEh” [laugh track] “carlton banks. Thats b e a e n k e s. No e. Hehehe. E e e. Uh. That was a joke ma’am.” “…” “the phones dead! WILL.” [laugh track] “Carl, man, im not a KILLER” [will shoots carlton, he falls down and bleeds] “AAH! AAAH..” [laugh track] [scene change to mortuary] “id like to welcome you to the memorial of… carlton.” [short laugh track] “saying a few words on behalf of the departed will be… Philips.” “Ahum. What can you say about carlton? He was Carlton.” [uncle phil has a ♥♥♥♥♥♥ grin] [laugh track] “at this time, id like to invite someone with an especially warm memory of carlton. Come up here and share it with us.” [lady walks up to the microphone] [takes her time to adjust mic] “Sex.” [laugh track] “she walks away from mic] [somebody claps slowly] [will teleports in] “Did he not feel paAAAAin when he was huUUUUrt? I mean, i mean i mean, i mean, did he not ♥♥♥♥, did he not drurdg? He was only human but yes, he was chickeninwaffles.” [accelerating laugh track] “and i fail to believe, that the world can Profit from a man’s ♥♥♥♥. Each and every one of you should be really ashamed of yourself” “And who are you?” “im the dude.” [wills face is the dude] [laugh track] [the same man claps again] [claps harder and faster until audience cheers and claps along] [outro theme starts playing, credits roll] [my little pony credits play over the first scene with carlton walking down those stairs] [singing:] “whats a woman woman?” [laugh track] “Hm Hm HMMMM” “look, i think i know how to help will. Weve gotta ATTACK him.” [the crew walks up to will] [carlton shoots beams out of his fingers] “SHAIHS SHAISH SHAISH SHIASH” [charges beam, arm turns red] “SHAIASH” [will is on fire and cries] [laugh track] [audience starts awwww’ing] [will cries out:] “WHOJOHHJO EEEE WHOJEEE E