You wanna know more? Great, I had my car fill out a
Facebook survey.
Favorite food: spaghetti
Favorite tv show: Alf
Favorite band: tie between Bush and the Gin Blossoms

This car is as practical as a Roth IRA. It's as middle-of-the-
road as your grandpa during his last Silver Alert. It's as
utilitarian as a member of a church whose scripture is based
entirely on water bills.

When I ran the CarFax for this car, I got back a single piece
of paper that said, "It's a Corolla, It's fine."
Let's face the facts, this car isn't going to win any beauty
contests, but neither are you. Stop lying to yourself and stop
lying to your wife. This isn't the car you want, it's the car you
deserve: The f*cking 1998 Toyota Corolla.