It was a cold November night as I walked through the central park. I'd just ended a relationship and questioning my own existence, and before I had realised, I had been fixed to the nearby swing set by my parents.

This was to be expected, my parents were gambling addicts and they had always intended to sacrifice me to the God's of the 10 cent push coin slot machines hoping one day they'd get that mini slinky. It's no surprise really and I guess I should have seen it coming sooner. As they welded me to the swing set I started to reflect on my own grand fathers advice he used to give me.

"It's a dog eat dog world out there Chadley, don't be afraid to go for what you want or step on a few toes."

Anyway, so I'm stuck to this swing set about to be sacrificed in the middle of November, so life is pretty good I guess. At least this time he isn't using the nipple clamps or jumper cables.