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Thinks his beat-up Camaro still goes fast.
Breakfast is bacon, eggs fried in grease,
Cholesterol climbing, but hey — no peace.
Lunch? Tacos shoved in his face,
Hot sauce dribbling, keeping no pace.
Dinner’s cold pizza, straight from the box,
Stained wife-beater, mismatched socks.
At night he’s yelling in PUBG chat,
Getting wrecked by teens, blaming lag for that.
Middle-aged mess with a gamer tag —
Mike’s still convinced he’s got some swag.