Father Ted Crilly (Dermot Morgan) is the most normal of the priests on the island, although he still finds himself in very confusing situations. He is a bon vivant, exiled to Craggy Island for something referred to only as "that Lourdes thing." - an apparent misappropriation of church funds which had been intended to fund a poor child's education at Lourdes, which Ted allegedly spent as part of a Las Vegas gambling spree. Ted's defense has always been that the money was "just resting in my account."

Matthew "The two ton terror of telaviv" Rock