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And, indeed, I was an achiever by day and a self-destroyer by night. After my two children were born, and my parents had just died, I defaulted to my old and familiar coping mechanism- binge eating disorder. I kept thinking that bingeing and layering on more fat to my already obese body, would protect me from the intense feelings and the overwhelming nature of dealing with two babies, a budding business, and the heartbreak of my losses.