So female dolphins have vaginal secretions that make a male dolphin just ♥♥♥ over and over and over. From this point on, I will call these secretions Dolphin p**** jelly. Scientists were like "holy s***, dude we gotta test this. You know, for science" So the scientists collected a sample of said dolphin p**** jelly, and had a test primate. They swabbed it on the male primate's ♥♥♥♥, sat back and watched the show. Now you see, it worked. But it worked a little too well. The monkey straight up had a heart attack because it used all of its energy into f***ing ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. I want to live in a world where this is a commercial product. I want to say "you know what, I want to die and i know what to do about it." I want to live in a world where i can go into my local grocery store, pick up a bottle of Smucker's Dolphin p**** Jelly, and just f***ing ♥♥♥ myself to death

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