You're not a real lawyer!

"University of American Samoa", for Christ's sake? An online course? What a joke! I worked my ass off to get where I am! And you take these shortcuts and you think suddenly you're my peer? You do what I do because you're funny and you can make people laugh? I committed my *life* to this! You don't slide into it like a cheap pair of slippers and then reap all the rewards! I know you. I know what you were, what you are. People don't change! You're Slippin' Jimmy! And Slippin' Jimmy I can handle just fine, but Slippin' Jimmy with a law degree is like a chimp with a machine gun! The law is *sacred*! If you abuse that power, people get hurt! This is not a game! And you *have* to know that on some level, I know you know I'm right. You know I'm right!