is Coalisland COOKED? Sunday World investigation!

Fear has gripped the normally sleepy town of Coalisland as sinister graffiti, branding the PSNI as "Rat Scum" and accusing locals of being "Tout Rats," has exploded across walls, shop fronts, and even the local chip shop. Residents are living in terror, whispering about a return to the dark days of the Troubles, with some claiming they're too scared to leave their homes after dark.

"It's like something out of a horror movie," gasped local pensioner, Mary "Molly" McAllister, clutching her rosary beads. "Everywhere you look, those words, like a curse. You can feel the tension in the air, thick as pea soup."

The graffiti, scrawled in menacing red paint, has appeared overnight, leaving locals wondering who is behind this campaign of intimidation. Speculation is rife. Some blame dissident republicans, others point fingers at local feuds gone nuclear, and a few even whisper about "shadowy figures" from Belfast.

CHIP SHOP SHOCK!

The usually bustling "Fryday's Finest" chip shop, a Coalisland institution, was targeted, with the words "Tout Rats Eat Here" daubed across its bright yellow facade. Owner, Paddy "Spud" Murphy, was left reeling. "I've served chips to everyone in this town, cops, priests, even the odd stray tourist," he wailed. "Now look at me! My reputation's ruined!"

Adding to the chaos, a local pigeon, known affectionately as "Pigeon Pete," was allegedly found with a miniature banner tied to its leg, reading "Snitches Get Stitches." Animal rights activists are reportedly furious, demanding a full investigation.

PSNI SILENT - LOCALS DEMAND ANSWERS!

The PSNI have remained tight-lipped, issuing a bland statement about "investigations being ongoing." This silence has only fueled the flames of suspicion, with locals accusing the force of a cover-up.

"They know who's doing this," roared local hardman, "Big Tony" O'Malley, outside the bookies. "They're just too scared to admit it! This town's gone to the dogs!"

As tensions reach boiling point, Coalisland holds its breath, wondering what dark secrets lurk beneath the surface of this once-peaceful town.

SUNDAY WORLD - WE GET TO THE TRUTH (SORT OF JUST GET TOUTED TO AS WELL)!