Ex-cuse me? Ex-♥♥♥♥♥♥♥-scuse me? Whatd you just say about my Crocs? These are state of the art Balenciaga women's black foam platform Crocs. With spikes. They cost $850, and are more badass than Jackie Chan jumping off a humming motorcycle to land a kick directly in an angry gorillas left eye WHILE on fire. You cant get better than this, baby. Call them tacky, call them ugly, call them whatever you want, but we all know youre just fooling yourself into underestimating the alpha shoe. When will your shoes ever be as stylin' as mine? Maybe youre wearing Gucci spike loafers. Maybe youre wearing diamond studded Jordans. Maybe youre wearing ♥♥♥♥♥♥' gold dipped Nikes lined with the fur of an ermine. But youll never look as good as I do in my Crocs. Squelch squelch squelch, ♥♥♥♥♥. That's the sound of me walking over too you in my sexy Balenciaga Crocs, right before I kick you in your miniscule nuts. Do you feel those spikes dig into you? That is the rage of a thousand unappreciated shoes, ridiculed for years, finally ready to take their revenge out on a world that never deserved their magnificense in the first place. You laughed at them then. Youll bow to them now. The revolution has begun. Youd better be ready.